Funniest Adventure Moments

[Samules]

Blow up the world? No problem!

wow first time anyone noticed my posts! Anyway I made them part of a rebel strike force so they wouldn't have to try to hijack a ship (and i bet you can guess how that went last time from your own games) and after paying off the ship from captured imperial vessels they were offered a load of money and power to kill the emperor. Once they found out all that stuff one player suggested they create a decoy attack with their fighter and sneak aboard a gaurd's shuttle (the shuttles are made of starship plating with massive drills to cut through the crust and go down only in times of emergency for a counsel since communicators can be hacked or blocked by the magma). In reply to black bat he is housed in a sphere of titanium+++++++ (whatever that would be called) with highly advanced cooling systems running 24/7 and he has massive farms with over 8 years worth of water and fuel for the power plant and farm. my next game's in 3 days. I'll post soon!

 

[Samules]

the druid who hated famers and decided to burn down a barn..........with animals in it (I think the animals ended up killing him)

 

[Whipsnade]

Security guard footsteps heard from around the corner, player grabs the first thing to hand - a fire extinguisher. Hits the security guard as he steps around the corner and rolls a 12.

Mike,

A fire extinguisher? That's just eerie... I've an Amber Zone floating around somewhere called The Night Visitors in which a fire extinguisher figured prominently. It's at Freelance Traveller IIRC.

That Amber Zone was derived from a one-session adventure I ran as part of a longer campaign. The players were making ends meet by standing overnight "cold iron" watches aboard a grounded subsidized merchant. Somewhere aboard the ship was a package that certain locals wanted, but they'd have to search the ship to find it.

The locals first approached the players during the day first asking them to turn a blind eye, then offering to pay, and finally threatening. Naturally the players refused, so the locals showed up that night wearing vacc suits, with tranq gas grenades, and snub pistols.

The locals boarded through an open cargo lock and surprised the two of the players acting as "rovers" in the lower cargo deck. One player went down with multiple tranq round hits while the other was able dodge into a drive tunnel. They get the alarm off however and the players on the bridge locked the ship down.

One of the locals followed the player into the drive tunnel and got crowned with a fire extinguisher as soon as he entered the hatch. The player told me he'd was looking for anything he could use as a club, so the extinguisher fit the bill nicely. The player rolled very well, so I had him hit the local's helmet's faceplate and knock the local over backwards. The player then jumped on the fallen local and began hammering away on his helmet with the extinguisher. When I told him that the faceplate was cracked and partially caved in, the player jammed the extinguisher's cone against the faceplate and emptied it's contents into the local's helmet.

Scratch one local.

Things sort of went down hill from there and, by the time the dust settled, the players had all sorts of new "friends" in the local community.


Regards,
Bill

 

[Blue Ghost]

One player went down with multiple tranq round hits while the other was able dodge into a drive tunnel. *snip*
Bill

Did he go with a smile on his face?

Facsimilie --->

 

[Brian Smaller]

OK - my CT game when one ofthe characters (wearing combat armour) is wounded in a battle on a low tech world they are stranded on (think Valley Forge style camapign). Their medic can easily patch up his wounded leg. But of course he gets carted to the field hospital where they do what 18th C surgeons always do with bad leg wounds. Off it goes. When he recovered from the amputation his comrades made him a peg leg to wear with his combat armour. CHeck this picture out.

http://www.geocities.com/area51/underworld/1701/neekos_pride_colour.jpg

 

[stealth]

Best death ever.

The Collapsar Expedition

Have you ever wondered why nobody has tried to take detailed close-up reading of a supermasssive black hole? No? Well, that's understandable.

A unique opportunity awaited a group of highly skilled adventurers, including an awesome starship.

Instead of trying to steal the starship, the players go on the mission. Just to orbit a diameter outside the event horizon requires 0.25 c velocity so that means four months in cold sleep at 6G acceleration, then orbital insertion.

A number of routine die rolls are involved, but there are enough that it is impossible. By the first orbit, tidal and frame-dragging forces are knocking things loose. At Newtonian speeds in order to change orbits one must thrust forward for "up" and thrust backwards for "down", so the players fire the engines, which adds to their frame-dragging energy at high relative velocity, increasing their relative mass. They go down, not up.

They realize this, but not in time. Blowing one last die roll, the realize that not all black holes are spherical, and their orbit is taking them into the event horizon. The watch it approach as I tell them roll after roll, that nothing can be done.

I hear one player tell another "I always loved you, George" (a movie quote from The Blues Brothers), and they pass through the event horizon.

On the other side is smooth sailing. Below is a wold-scape of pure machines, above an inverted black-white Milky Way. One player wonders if all black holes are like this on the inside. Another if the Imperium knows. All is silent on the EM bands, save for a single landing beacon....

And there, on a landing pad amongst the colossal structures, is a single rather large Droyne reclining on a sun-chair, with a refreshing beverage in his hand. And with his other, he beckoned....

It was the best death ever.

 

[Samules]

OK my guys didn't manage to blow up the world completely but (by setting off massive explosions in the earths core, 5 type Z reactor overloads), they killed over (roll......roll........roll..........) 17 BILLION PEOPLE and destroyed nearly all civilizations on the face of earth.

 

[ThunderChilde]

OK my guys didn't manage to blow up the world completely but (by setting off massive explosions in the earths core, 5 type Z reactor overloads), they killed over (roll......roll........roll..........) 17 BILLION PEOPLE and destroyed nearly all civilizations on the face of earth.

WELL,
So, just how long are they gonna kept alive by medical fast to serve out that sentence, or have they passed into the mythical realm of it was just a statistic? Stalin was a rank amatuer compared to the foulest villans masquarading as your revolutionary heroes.

 

[Rover]

Spiders are Loud!

This happened in 2nd ed D&D Spelljammer campaign. It was a fantasy-technology hybrid game. And I had one really nasty tech item, a wrist mounted rocket launcher.

While exploring an ancient pyramid on a far off planet, my character, a fighter about 10th level, entered a room with several dog like creatures. They emitted a baleful wailing sound that caused fear. Another character, a Kobold MU (Don’t ask), and I blew our save vs. fear and ran screaming from the room. And unluckily for us, deeper into the pyramid.

We ran headlong down the hallway and straight into the webs of 5 giant spiders. We are trapped and about to be the main course. I do the only thing I can do, and fire a wrist rocket at the closest spider. 6D10 later the spiders are dead, the MU is almost dead, and the webs are gone.

I asked the DM if we are still panicked, and he answers yes, and deaf too because we are so close to the explosion. We run deeper into the pyramid and straight into a large room with an ancient Red Dragon. Luckily we win initiative and I dump my remaining wrist rockets into the dragon, the MU lets loose with an L-Bolt and we manage to slay the dragon. The DM rules that we are no-longer panicked, but still quite deaf.

At this point an inquisitive ogre sticks his head around the corner to see what all the commotion was. Standing there in front of a dead ancient red dragon was a tattered and burned human and a Kobold with all his fur singed off, both of us bleeding from the ears. Not wanting to fight the ogre at this point, I instill in him the meaning of the word fear by saying “Boo!” The ogre panicked and ran away.

We found our way back to the party and they asked us what happened. My answer was, “spiders are loud!” Realizing I was still deaf, and the creatures with the baleful wailing could no longer effect me, I entered the room and beat them to death with a stick.

Ever since, whenever we encountered a spider, or anyone even mentioned the word, I would exclaim, “Spiders are loud!”

R

 

[Rover]

Ballad of the War Chicken – A true tale of Dungeons and Dragons.

Years ago my D’nD group included a guy named Mike. (His name has not been changed to protect his identity.) He was a real mama’s boy, even by gamer terms, and constantly whined about everything. He was in his late 20’s and playing a Paladin BTW.


When time came to call for his mount, the DM provided him with what can basically be described as something non-standard. It was the War Chicken, a large, bipedal bird that a human could ride. You should have heard Mike whine. I guess he was worried all the other paladins would look down on him. (Not that his craven ways would have had anything to do about that.)

To be fair the DM gave the War Chicken great stats. 75 HP, 3 attacks, and limited flight ability. It was also semi intelligent. As mounts go, it was pretty kick ass.

After a few sessions adventuring with the War Chicken, Mike really took a shine to it. He loved it, he bragged about it, he wouldn’t shut up about it. No man was ever prouder of his fantastical imaginary bird than Mike was of the War Chicken.

Being D’nD, fireballs happen. It was a sad occasion indeed when the War Chicken slipped into the endless night. I could tell that this affected Mike a greatly, I could swear tears were beginning to form. After the battle I knew this could not stand. I knew that something had to be done in relation to the outrageous slaughter of Mike’s beloved War Chicken. It was at this time when I turned to the DM and uttered these immortal words, “I break out the 11 secret herbs and spices.”

For some reason Mike did not see the humor in this. I think real tears were shed at this point, and I am sure that Mike would have taken a swing at me at, but his self-preservation mechanism kicked in. The rest of us, well we still laugh about it till this day. In the finest oral tradition (well maybe second finest) the Ballad of the War Chicken is told in our gamming sessions, it is one of those tales that is recounted often, especially when new gamers join the fold.

Mike never did game with us after that day, I doubt his mother would let her precious boy get near those fantastical-imaginary-chicken-killing-bastards that were supposed to his friends ever again. Although we never cared to see him again, his memory endures at the recounting of this tale.

 

[Samules]

WELL,
So, just how long are they gonna kept alive by medical fast to serve out that sentence, or have they passed into the mythical realm of it was just a statistic? Stalin was a rank amatuer compared to the foulest villans masquarading as your revolutionary heroes.

They were made overlords of three sectors by the new imperium made by the rebels after earths destruction but considering that they killed 17billion when ordered to kill one man the rebels will never ever ask them to assasinate anyone ever again.(this means the campaign has ended

 

[stealth]

the Giant Robot

In one campaign we played at a married couples house, and the kids wanted to play. Why not? I was twelve when I started.

Traveller is hard and scientific, but I was not daunted: the first game was a rescue-the-princess counter-insurgency op, and I let Bryce, the hyper-active one, find a Giant Robot.

Now, it every ten year old kids dream to be a giant robot mechwarrior pilot, and I gave him a 30' tall Big-O looking thing. When he couldn't find the gun controls, I told him: "Maybe it's like a Snyder."

Bryce: "What's a Snyder?"

Me: "It's an atomic powered robot designed for hand-to-hand combat."

Bryce: Pumps fists with glee.

Much mayhem followed, but eventually he figured out how to use the laser, missles, and grappel-chain thingies. We all had fun.

 

[ThunderChilde]

They were made overlords of three sectors by the new imperium made by the rebels after earths destruction but considering that they killed 17billion when ordered to kill one man the rebels will never ever ask them to assasinate anyone ever again.(this means the campaign has ended

Post deleated by poster.

 

[Samules]

Oh yeah i should have mentioned this earlier. When the characters were fighting the emperor (he was in this massive spider like platform with a plasma gun that could instakill anyone and a forcefield.) After a large struggle the party was reduced to 2 people (one of whom was a vargr turned into a dog with a plasma rifle on his back and a firing apparatus linked to his mouth)and the emperors force field was destroyed. There were several rounds in which both groups missed each other, but then the human was liquefied and it seemed the party was doomed (heck it already was except for the dog). Their cover was being blown away by the emperor but with a lucky shot the dog liquefied the emperor. (this may not seem funny but just remember the emperor just got killed by a freaking DOG) lol

 

[Commander Truestar]

It is worse when you do it to yourself

Traveller
Regina, Regina Subsector, 1112(shortly after the FFW)
CredoDownport

Our seven heros have just done a HUGE favor for Duke Vilis and are travelling for sport on their funds. The ship is grounded in the port harbor when John decides to check with the "local crew" and see if there is anything exciting or profitable to play with.
Now our good friend John had started out as an Imperial Army grunt. He had gotten selected for OCS and become a mustang before accidentally getting in the middle of an Army Intel op. Handling himself rather well, he was offered a post in Army Intel and took it.

So the "local crew" were any Intel offices he could talk his way into.

Of course, security is everything to that type. So before leaving the ship he made sure his stateroom was squared away and secure...including that one hair licked and stuck one side to the door and the other to the door jam.

Once John was off the ship, Brian came sauntering up. Brian was one of those engineers who could rebuild a starship out of a pile of wrecked anythings... Brian was also the laid back relaxed kind who's only real beef was when a starsh shorted class A type like John made life less fun. In Brian's pocket were a sall box of those paper and black power "snaps" that explode when you throw them down, compress them or...well, you get it.

So Brian makes sure John is off the ship before "unlocking" his stateroom door.

Once inside, Brian scans the room judging for just the correct place. It takes time but this has to be done juuuust right. Once Brian is finished he closes, but does not lock, the stateroom door. As he leaves, he makes certain the hair is left lying on the floor just outside the door but not in the walk path of the companionway. Brian is planning to have a good afternoon.

Outside it is an average day in post-war Credo. Repairs and recovery are going on throughout the city. The naval and scout downports(attached to the civilian downport) are hives of activity supporting new in-system scans, system defense and command operations for the Subsector(not to mention all that new Imperial traffic). if you look really hard you can see the lights that are the low orbit patrols(and see them much better with high tech gear) from the surface.

Eventually John has returned from the Army Intel offices after having completely pissed off the folks working there by trying to stick his nose into anything it does not belong in. the return to the ship is normal and everyting outside is just as expected...all is right with the Imperium....until he gets to his stateroom door....

The first check on the list finds the hair on the floor! The door has been disturbed!
The second item, as he stealthily draws his body pistol, the door is not locked! The room
has been violated!!

Carefully John unlatches the door and ever so gently nudges it open with the barrel of his pistol scanning from against the bulkhead what can be seen. Soon there is nothing else for it as he pounces in sweeping the room with the weapon to find it empty.

So now he needs to make an accessment...
Nothin seems out of the ordinary, nothing appears to be disturb...

Wait!

One of the drawers in which he keeps clothing is not closed flush with the panels of the stateroom wall...

A few calculations...it is
.
.
.
.
.
.
His underwear drawer?!?!?!?!

Slowly advancing our intrepid hero reaches out to gently take hold of the pull on the drawer and drag it slooooowly.....<BANG!>

John dives, weapon extended back for all the good it will do him, onto the floor of the stateroom thinking "Intruders are aboard!". Letting the small puff os smoke settle and seeing nothing worse come form the drawer, John rushes to his feet and to the commpanel at his stateroom doorside...

Intently he mashes down on the "All Ship Alert" key as he sanned for quick gear to snatch before beginning a "ship clearing".

Meanwhile Zimzod the former Imperial Marine is relaxing in the ship's common room. It is a nice relaxing day and soon enough they will be off regina and away from all the "hats"(titles) out there. All that goes right into a black hole as the ship's alarm begins to ring! "We are under attack" is the fisrt thought of any marine followed by curses that they are dirtside!
Stopping to think which direction is "Up" outside, Zimzod rushes for the ship's turret controls... Powering up the passive gear he activates the dorsal turret and does his best to scan for attackers but does not see anyone.

Knowing no one aboard would dare play this deadly a game, he slams home the active sensors and goes for full scan...

...of the civilian downport
...of the Imperial naval down-base
...of the Imperial scout down-base
...of the civilian highport
...of the Imperial naval high-port
...of the Imperial scout high-port
...of the orbital patrols
...of the inbound, landing and launching vessels

...of CREDO CITY
...of the CAPITAL OF THE REGINA DUCHY!!!!!!


I

was

rolling!!!


Marc

 

[jpster]

"What money?"

Funniest adventure moment was when my 4-player group was caught trying to infiltrate a heavily-guarded mansion to rescue some anonymous NPC. We were caught, and trying (successfully until...) to convince the overwhelmingly superior security force that we were merely reinforcements. I said, "Okay, but if we leave now, we aint comin' back, and (whatshisname) can just forget the money we've been paid!" An inattentive PC pipes up, "What money?" and the jig was up. After a running gunfight down a hill, we escaped, but the offending PC (a Vargr) got his tail fried off and our Air/Raft got blown up. "What money?" became the quote for any gaff or obvious mistake thereafter.

 

[sabredog]

Speaking of "catch phrases" that develop in play this way, in one of my longer running campaigns the players had a run of bad luck trying to get across a subsector way out on the fringe to someplace civilized. Along the way they were constantly (or so it seemed) by pirates which preyed on ships cruising this long Jump-1 string.

In the first battle they were hit in the hold and lost the air/raft...they bought another and patched up the ship only to lose the air/raft again in the very next battle after the next jump....same thing: they bought another and patched the ship and..yup, they had the same thing happen again.

So the players got into the habit of saying, "We're gonna need a new air/raft." every time they were about to go into combat.

One of them even suggested they throw it out the lock with a pinger on it right before any battle for retrieval afterward so they didn't have to keep buying new ones. That led to the theory that the reason they were getting hit was because they had an air/raft, and that maybe if they stopped buying new ones they'd stop losing them.

Yeah, beer-logic works like that.

 

[Theophilus]

Actually, the funniest moment in game play was actually, not a moment per say, but a couple of players who played two halfling, wearing pots on their heads for armor, and armed with a wand of wonder that they used like a bazooka. The two players had played together so long they could finish each others sentences. I still remember them every time a monster showed up. The first halfling would drop to his knee's and bring up his wand o wonder bazooka. Scream load me. The second would stand behind, "load" the bazooka, Scream ready. Slap him on top of the pot and then they'd fire. Of course they didn't worry about which way the bazooka was pointed so characters behind them were in as much danger as the monsters we were fighting.

One time they were sent down a shaft to see if the boards on the bottom would hold our weight. Of course they said it was fine, until the dwarf in full armor climbed down. World of difference between 60 pounds and 200 pounds. And then the excuses start.... I can't remember how many times we'd end up rolling on the floor laughing, those guys were hilarious.

Oh, and I remeber one time with a player named Arnie.

We were sitting around playing, when One guy sneezed. Of course the "bless you's" came out. Then all of a sudden Arnie says, "Daaammmmnnn Yoooouuu"... kinda drawn out like,

Every one stops, and stares at Arnie open mouthed.
Arnie looks up and say....

"What, I'm playing an evil cleric!"

 

[sabredog]

Speaking of D&D...one time I was running a dungeon and the party had been reduced down to three characters as they were fighting their way out: two fighters and a magic-user. Obviously they were down to minimum gear and low on hit points.

So first one fighter loses his armor to a rust monster, and the other loses his sword to the same. Farther along the players were bushwacked near the entrance by a troll....the fighter without a sword drops all his stuff runs for the exit, and the magic-user casts his last spell: and levitates to the roof.

The remaining fighter is having the snot kicked out of him by the troll and he yells to the magic-user, "Help me you _____!" and the magic-user just shrugs and says, "Sorry, it's the only spell I know." and then he just floats there as the troll stomps the fighter into jelly and wanders off.

Then he drops down, picks up the gold and strolls whistling out of the dungeon with all the goods.

 

[Trentor]

These are good stories.