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Funniest Adventure Moments

This was DnD 2E...

So we had this evil, evil, eeeviiil c***k***k** of a DM. Nice guy and all, but as a DM, he had to win, yer know? We were running a planescape style campaign, which I'd thought might be jumping around the place with the occasional trip to Sigil, but no. He didn't send us to hell (at least, not all the time), but the arid, spiteful, Drow infested worlds he did send us to might as well as been. So we pleaded, pleaded, for some respite in the Forgotten Realms, just maybe to spend one night in an inn and actually heal some hit points. Well, he zapped us to a dungeon, made up of mainly pits and chasms and other forms of abyss, under Baldur's Gate, teeming with beholders!

So we've used up our potions, my dual classed thief-psionicist is out of power, the demon-touched minotaur sorcerer is out of spells, and the dwarf druid-pugilist out of luck because he can only fight hand to hand and can't reach, and all down to single figure hit points, but we finally manage to kill one of them. Immediatey, our diabolical DM says we can see another coming up the shaft next to us. We all look bleakly at each other, then the minotaur shouts "fook this" and leaps over the edge with his mighty great axe, and rolls a 20, falling onto obliterating that beholder and riding it down for a soft landing. The DM, flummoxed, says there's two more beholders coming up the shaft. So the dwarf leaps over, and rolls a 2, misses both targets and splats on the floor next to the minotaur.

We escaped by giving in and portalling to whatever new hell he'd designed for us. Then he set Vecna on us... :(
 
I'll throw in my two anecdotes quick and sweet, since I have to head out to work in a little bit;

1) Car Wars; our group, a convoy of pro-Autoduellests, was stopped either by a toll gate or bridge, and were approached by Hari Krishnas seeking donations. I whip out my credit card, and everyone else donates by the new player in our group, who absolutely refuses. Hari Krishnas quit banging on their tamborines and instead whip out Mac10 machinepistols and hand grenades. New Guy points his turreted heavy LASER at the nearest shaved head, and smatters him for somtheing like 18pts damage. Car Wars humans can take 3pts... 6 if wearing armor. He laughs maniacly.

2) D&D; our group of warriors, a mage and a priest of somekind, are truding along a well worn path, and nearing a pasture where we see cows grazing. Immediately, playing a 100str. 100Dex 3rd Ed AD&D warrior, I get the notion that steak on the hoof sounds good for dinner. As we approach, like something out of a Far Side cartoon, said Bovines stand up on their hind legs and approach us to engage in discourse. I have a change in heart, lean forward to our female mage who had been nominated as our spokesperon (played by a real woman; wife of the guy running the adventure) and whisper in her ear "Tell 'em we're vegetarians." She can't stop laughing for the rest of the night.... guess you had to be there.
 
Nope.

Blue Ghost said:
I'll throw in my two anecdotes quick and sweet, since I have to head out to work in a little bit;

1) Car Wars; *ka-snippireno*

2) D&D; our group of warriors, a mage and a priest of somekind, are truding along a well worn path, and nearing a pasture where we see cows grazing. Immediately, playing a 100str. 100Dex 3rd Ed AD&D warrior, I get the notion that steak on the hoof sounds good for dinner. As we approach, like something out of a Far Side cartoon, said Bovines stand up on their hind legs and approach us to engage in discourse. I have a change in heart, lean forward to our female mage who had been nominated as our spokesperon (played by a real woman; wife of the guy running the adventure) and whisper in her ear "Tell 'em we're vegetarians." She can't stop laughing for the rest of the night.... guess you had to be there.
Click to expand...
LMAO! No, it translates fine. Yep, awesome funny.
 
I’m running Runequest and the players are running two humans and a trollkin. Trollkin, for those of you who don’t know are small stunted trolls about the size of a hobbit or maybe smaller and are used as a ball in games of Trollball, among other things, but make good sneaky type characters.

So they head through a canyon and encounter a manticore playing cat n’ mouse with an elf who has a spear and her back to the canyon wall. The players unsheathe their swords and get ready to attack when the manticore casually pins the elf down with one paw and asks, “Have any of you ever fought a manticore before?”

“Uh….no?”, say the players who are wondering at a talking manticore having never played in my game before figuring that D&D invented them or something, and are just ways to quickly get experience points.

“Well, I only ask you since after I finish the elf here I might still be hungry and I would prefer your meat not be spoiled from exerting yourselves unduly. So if you’d just be so kind as to decide which one of you will be desert the others can leave.” The manticore then starts gutting the elf and munching down.

The two human barbarians of mighty thews and rude ways both looked at each other and the trollkin player started yelling, “NO WAY!! You guys did this to me last time, too, that’s why I don’t like playing this game!”

The two barbarians tossed the trollkin to the manticore and ran.

Next game the trollkin guy rolled up a full sized troll and beat the living crap out of the two Conan-wannabe’s at the first chance he had, and made them carry all his stuff from that point on like a couple of pack mules.
 
There is a tradition going back to Traveller, yet surviving in nearly every game we have played, of the Doom of the Expert! We were using a mashup of T2K and Mega at the time, and had a player who was allegedly an expert mountaineer. Who plunged to his death, after three near death experiences (bad dice), while the "doomed" amatuers made it up to the cave. Since then any claim to "expert status" has usually led to a bad end.
The acrobat who lept into the river and hit her head on a rock, while everyone else did fine.
The explosives expert who had no eod skills and said it was not even a challenge...
The SEAL who couldn't shoot out a light with a silenced .22 pistol.
The break-in artist who got us all sent to jail after swearing there wasn't an alarm.
The expert medic/jedi who nearly killed a couple players with the fiedish WEG medpacks (maufactuered by Doctor Bonesaw).
The woodsy elf who walked off a cliff. The same woodsy elf who got so sneaky that he got lost in the middle of a fight in high weeds, and popped up right next to the enemies captain.
The Bounty hunter that got into fight on my beloved, over half my character points, Stock Light Frieghter, and proceeded to win the fire fight by winging a thermal detonator into the bridge, setting off grenades in the galley, and firing a captured grenade launchers full 20 rnd clip into engineering, and shooting the hell outa the one gunnery station. He trashed our only way off the planet for no good reason other than taking exception to an inspection crew being in the ship, and said "I have won an incredible battle, you should all thank me." The toungue tied engineer asked him what he hadn't blown up, and he answered "Why my own customized turret came through untouched!" The engineer todded the last thermal detonator down the shaft and sad"Now your job is complete." Oh he yelled about the 6 points he had in the turret, everyone else laughed at him. WEG rules 1/2 Hyper Mod. 3 man, 4 speed, 3 shields, upgunned, lotta damned points from the two owners, Pilot and engineer.

Same character had a theme song:Sung to music of Frere Jacques
Gary Venom, Gary Venom has a gun, has a gun, Jesus Christ! he's shooting, Jesus Christ! he's shooting, lets all run, lets all run.
 
Snapshot Boarding Action

My earliest group did a lot of Snapshot. After putting down scores of animals running loose on a variety of ships (FASA as well as the Snapshot scout and Beowulf) I thought it was time to throw something a little more lively.

We died the pirate boarding scenario, and, if memory serves, it was 4 pirate players verse one guy controlling the crew and passengers. The pirates wiped the floor with the resistance the crew/civilian player put up.

Every armed crewman and passenger were gunned down, and as a last resort the guy playing "the good guys" ran into the bridge, locked the door, then ran to the access plate leading to the avionics, crawled inside, and sealed it shut. I can't remember what he was going to do... try to control the ship and jump out or something... but, anywho, the pirates break into the bridge.

They search, and surmize the only place the guy could've gone. They level their weapons and begin blazing away, confident that the plate will give way any second. I relay to them the amount of damage it takes bust through an interior bulkhead access plate (something like 1000 pts.).

At which point Steve says they're going to get lounge chairs, sun tan oil, some brews, fresh ammo, and shoot at the plate, presumably while they get their bodies oiled by captured slave girls or something.

Oh well. It was worth a chuckle at the time. :p
 
Another one;

"Champions"; one of our group created a character that had 16 different powers, which was essentially a munchkiny-uber-rules creation; a character that had several levels of shrinking, was invisible, nimble as hell, and a couple other things which escape me right now. He called him "The Frustrator", and for good reason.

Needless to say the character was never vanquished so far as I could recall, meanwhile every character I created always got KO'd.

Fed up with this, I decided to create a "Superman" like character; i.e. a hero with 100Str and various other attributes. During a warehouse fight my guy was pummeling normal human bad guys left and right, which was frustrating the GM some. How is it Blue Ghost finally created a good character, and wasn't getting taken out in the first couple of rounds of combat? And why on earth did I let him have a 100 strength character of all things?

The GM, a good friend, knowing me, formed an evil smile across his face.
Facsimilie ---> :smirk:

He said something like "I'm going to take a chance...", then had a Black-Cat like character leap down from a stack of crates behind me, whip out some Wolverine like talons, and literally stabbed my character in the back.

Sure enough, my character succumed to the pain with oodles of body damage because I hadn't bought hardened defenses.

GM's reaction ---> :rofl:
 
Okay, an earlier post just reminded me of this, I don't think this story is funny, maybe ironic,

Many years ago, I played a lone (detached) Scout, I was hired to track down clues to something a scientist needed, (don't remember the details) but during the mission I had to land my Scout ship down on a lifeless world with a corrosive atmosphere, (little did I know at the time was the competition had already got there first and were waiting, I had something they wanted)

I was just shutting down the ships system and getting ready to suit up for a (short) search outside, when over a dune not to far from my ship came a team of people, all of them dressed in battledress and each carrying a plasma gun,

The signal over the radio was simple

"Come out and surrender, or we'll destroy your ship with you in it"

Well it didn't take me too long to work out what to do next,
I mean, I was out numbered, out gunned, even their armour was better,
(I rememered the mods for the plasma guns) it was suicide

"Crap"

so I activated the ships gunnery, (made a skill check) and fired a ships misslle straight at them,

"Booom!"

The GM's face dropped in mix of surprise and shock, (the damage dice were rolled, and I reminded him that all I needed to do was crack open the armour, the atmosphere would finish them off) he was p*ssed off, he had put alot of planning it to what was meant to happen next, a long drawn out combat, and I had just blown them away with one shot,

"Business as usual then" :smirk:
 
first: OMG I RESSURECTED THIS THREAD! USED TO BE LIKE YEAR OLD UNTIL I POSTED TWO WEEKS AGO THEN LOAD OF NEW POSTS!
next my moment: 3.5 D&D game 2 players i was wizard/conjurer who loved summoning badgers (dont ask long story) and my brother was a gestalt sorcerer/cleric we had just finished a dungeon for the day and were nearly out of spells (we had all first some second and one third between us). Low hp and no fire or acid magic. We found a fully armored troll with class levels outside and our rears were horribly threatened since we couldn't even do enough damage with our spells to kill it (not counting regeneration). I was horrified bun my brother gave an evil smile. He then proceeded to use ray of enfeeblement to slowly whittle down its strength until it couldn't hold itself up. It collapsed under its own weight and we coup de graced it. Hilarity ensued.
 
Another moment AD&D, we had made it up to level 6-8 after 4 years of steady gaming. (mod xp, items were meager, the opposite of a montyhaul campaign). We had had our asses handed to us by a dragon, incinerated our wizard, ate the gnome illusionist whoes last comment was "for my final act, I will appear to be a full meal!":oo: The rest of us were down to scraps or unconcious.

We got the wiz rezzed, licked our wounds and pooled our cash together to buy a level 12 scroll of the spell Fireball. SO, we went back into the extinct Volcano, and made our way down to the dragons lair. We split up to draw attention away from the wizard, who popped up, read the scroll and rolled TWELVE 1's on 12d6...............It was the biggest, nastiest, hairiest, purplest transparent fire ball anyone had ever seen, and the dragon rolled for 1/2 damage. GM fell out of his seat laughing.:nonono:

Then he incinerated the wiz again, etc, etc, etc. Never seen so many one's at once, the closest after that was TEN 1's rolled on 10d10 in a WOD Streetfighter tournament, it went poorly for him :rofl:.
 
I recall for a while playing in these Traveller games run by a nice guy, but a terrible GM. Just awful. We rarely had anything to do (because he hadn't planned anything) so inevitably, after rolling up our characters and getting bored, someone usually suggests "Hey, let's go steal a Scout Ship!"

Usually, this was the GM's excuse to inject his godly-statted Scout NPC as sleeping aboard the ship. You know the kind of guy, fudged rolls to stay in the service, due to some experimental surgery he's like 67 or something but has the body of a 33 year old (or whatever it was in CT/MT to prevent Aging Rolls). About the only good thing about the NPC is that he pointed out to me exactly how stupidly overpowered and insanely idiotic the "Jack of All Trades" skill was in Traveller, because of course, this NPC had it JoAT-5 or -6 or something (I used to call it "Master of All Trades").

Regardless, getting back on track, so we steal a Scout Ship and dump his pet NPC (we were usually not so brutal, but we were really tired of this NPC) out of the airlock while still in atmosphere (it was a groundside base) without a parachute. We simply told the boggled GM, "I'm sure JoAT will give him a chance to survive the landing, right?"

This didn't impress the GM, and the Scout Base scrambles like three fighters to shoot us down. The fighters are making mincemeat out of us, of course, hitting us so badly our Jump Drive goes offline, and we're in dire straits. So our pilot gets this inspired idea:

"I fake a crash!"

The GM makes the pilot roll to see how convincing the crash was (and how controllable it'd be). The pilot rolls snakeyes. The ship plows nosefirst into the ground at like Mach 3.

Still, it was a pretty convincing crash. ;)
 
epicenter00 said:
So our pilot gets this inspired idea:

"I fake a crash!"

The GM makes the pilot roll to see how convincing the crash was (and how controllable it'd be). The pilot rolls snakeyes. The ship plows nosefirst into the ground at like Mach 3.

Still, it was a pretty convincing crash.
Click to expand...

That sounds like what happened EVERY time I had an "inspired" idea as a PC.

I thing my GM/referee was just mean.
 
Recently my players decided to kill the emperor. They disguised their rebel ship as an asteroid to enter Solamani space, stole some ID's, and non humans got surgery to appear human (non-solamani were not allowed)except for one proud vargr who was proud of his race so he got surgery to appear to be a dog who could speak but didn't show it to imperials. After arriving on earth and some GODLY computer checks they found out the emperor stronghold was in the CORE OF THE EARTH. After a lot of planning they decided the LEAST complicated way was to BLOW UP THE WORLD I don't know how they're going to do it yet but I'll keep posting.
 
MT game - the players were up to the usual break in to find the answer type scenario.

Security guard footsteps heard from around the corner, player grabs the first thing to hand - a fire extinguisher.

Hits the security guard as he steps around the corner and rolls a 12.

Breaking and entering, murder... how we all laughed.
 
Samules said:
Recently my players decided to kill the emperor. They disguised their rebel ship as an asteroid to enter Solamani space, stole some ID's, and non humans got surgery to appear human (non-solamani were not allowed)except for one proud vargr who was proud of his race so he got surgery to appear to be a dog who could speak but didn't show it to imperials. After arriving on earth and some GODLY computer checks they found out the emperor stronghold was in the CORE OF THE EARTH. After a lot of planning they decided the LEAST complicated way was to BLOW UP THE WORLD I don't know how they're going to do it yet but I'll keep posting.
Click to expand...

'fraid to ask, but why are the gonna do the dastardly deed?

My compliments in any case on a group of players who aren't afraid to aim high.
 
Samules said:
After arriving on earth and some GODLY computer checks they found out the emperor stronghold was in the CORE OF THE EARTH.
Click to expand...


I'm impressed. How do they keep him from cooking in the middle of a massive ball of molten nickel-iron?

For that matter, how do they get food/water to him?
 
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