The Art Of Coffee Pot Repair and other forms of Madness

[bryan gibson]

One of the seminal forms of Traveller requirements seems to be the tendency for all ships to have coffeepots - required equipment, after all.

In our campaign, The Ursula as well as the other vessels have taken damage, requireing repair or replcement of these devices...following are excerpts of the results of said repairs by the ships Engineering Goddess, Susan Cray, AKA "Sushi"......

this is the first pot repair, done when she dissasembled the Mr Coffee to use the electronic timer to repair the jump drive grid differential control system, and so she fabricated the new one from parts laying around the drive bay.Its principle property was derived as a notion to alleviate the complaints of the crew that the previous coffeemaker took too long to brew a pot of coffee.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR USIN' THE COFFEEPOT

(found taped to the coffeepot in the Marine orderly office, written in two colors of marker)

(The pot is a complicated and strange looking beast, with two round chambers welded to a long cylindrical chamber and has several tubes and a 1 inch thick powercord connected to the main power trunk. It boasts a standard carafe, directly beneath a stainless steel dispensing spout. Any with engineering 3 or the JOT feat will recogonize the thing is made from a thruster plenum and draws 11 megajoules. It is cheerfully painted with pastel blue, green, pink and fuscia fish )

HOW TO USE THE COFFEE POT AND KEEP IT HAPPY

First, put water in it!gotta have water, right? it goes in the lower pressurization chamber, marked A.
Be sure to dog the lil hatch down with the wheel there..this is very important or superheated steam gets out and that is BAD...also, the coffee won't mix right...so dog that booger down good!
cool?

Next, put the ole coffee grounds in the vaporization chamber , so the coffee gets all good and vaporated! Dog that one down, too...BAD, remember?

Then push that big ole pretty blue button!

BAM! its coffee time!

Now, don't be opening the condensing chamber , there on the top, cuz then all that good superheatedcoffee goodness would get out, and sure, he's all welded to the table an all- but ya do that, its's GONNA get away, and then I gotta come put in another ten feet o bulkhead..so DON"T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!

Oh, and the coffee comes out at about 360 degrees, which is real hot, so be careful, okies?

LUV yas!

Sushi

 

[plop101]

Yes, everyone has coffee pots, but how many of you have Espresso makers in your ship?

TL7 Espresso Maker .25kg Cr4-Cr10 depending on retailer.

 

[RainOfSteel]

Ah yes, but what about a TL-15 Espresso maker?

TL-15
1 Kg
Cr1000

Talks to you like a coffee bar server while making it; measures temperature precisely; mixes exactly; detects/removes poisons, biologicals, and nanobots; can be dropped off a ten story building or survive explosive decompression (without losing a millilitre of liquid); crafted with an Imperium-wide recognized industrial design in burnished titanium and black polymimetic impact plastic; and will still slice a tomato!

 

[far-trader]

Originally posted by RainOfSteel:
Ah yes, but what about a TL-15 Espresso maker?

TL-15
1 Kg
Cr1000

Talks to you like a coffee bar server while making it; measures temperature precisely; mixes exactly; detects/removes poisons, biologicals, and nanobots; can be dropped off a ten story building or survive explosive decompression (without losing a millilitre of liquid); crafted with an Imperium-wide recognized industrial design in burnished titanium and black polymimetic impact plastic; and will still slice a tomato!

Oh great! Just what my Talkie Toaster needs

 

[alanb]

Originally posted by RainOfSteel:
Talks to you like a coffee bar server while making it; measures temperature precisely; mixes exactly; detects/removes poisons, biologicals, and nanobots; can be dropped off a ten story building or survive explosive decompression (without losing a millilitre of liquid); crafted with an Imperium-wide recognized industrial design in burnished titanium and black polymimetic impact plastic; and will still slice a tomato!

Yes, but does it make coffee?

 

[RainOfSteel]

Originally posted by alanb:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by RainOfSteel:
Talks to you like a coffee bar server while making it; measures temperature precisely; mixes exactly; detects/removes poisons, biologicals, and nanobots; can be dropped off a ten story building or survive explosive decompression (without losing a millilitre of liquid); crafted with an Imperium-wide recognized industrial design in burnished titanium and black polymimetic impact plastic; and will still slice a tomato!

Yes, but does it make coffee? </font>[/QUOTE]Well, now we are into the existentialist question of whether espresso is really coffee or not . . .

But, when I mentioned "measures and mixes exactly", I meant something non-specific but farcical about measuring the amount of the coffee and the caffine content dispensed to the last molecule while recording the temperature used each nanosecond, keeping track of variantions throughout the piping assembly, the water tank, etc.


<bad admission time>

While I know how a coffee machine is built in general, I admit I have no idea what mechanism it is that makes an espresso machine what it is.

I must go off and google around, but that will be tomorrow, must sleep now, the time to awake for work is in less than four hours.

</bad admission time>

 

[Andrew Boulton]

However, no one knows quite why it does this, because it then invariably delivers a cup-full of liquid that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.

 

[Straybow]

Indeed! As everyone knows, you need a piping hot cup o' tea if you want your infinite improbability drive to work.

 

[Andrew Boulton]

Maybe what really happened to the Kinunir was her computer went mad trying to work out why the Captain wanted a cup of tea...

 

[Eric]

Oh, and the coffee comes out at about 360 degrees, which is real hot, so be careful, okies?

Um, wouldn't the water in the coffee be a vapor at that temp?

 

[eclipse]

Originally posted by RainOfSteel:
Ah yes, but what about a TL-15 Espresso maker?

TL-15
1 Kg
Cr1000

Talks to you like a coffee bar server while making it; measures temperature precisely; mixes exactly; detects/removes poisons, biologicals, and nanobots; can be dropped off a ten story building or survive explosive decompression (without losing a millilitre of liquid); crafted with an Imperium-wide recognized industrial design in burnished titanium and black polymimetic impact plastic; and will still slice a tomato!

The Hidalgo has a TL-14 (Max TL for year 1000) robot to handle such things, since nobody in the bloody crew has any cooking skill!

The ship's engineer won't touch the stuff Archie the bot makes though. Has his own coffee maker down in Engineering.

 

[bryan gibson]

posted May 12, 2004 07:41 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, and the coffee comes out at about 360 degrees, which is real hot, so be careful, okies?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Um, wouldn't the water in the coffee be a vapor at that temp?


From Sushi:

OOP! your right, which is why I had ta go an fit the condenser housin on the thing, and all the poor marines just scaldin themselves, so sad!Pissed, too....but I'm jus a Engineering Goddess, and not a cook or anythin, and like that.

Glad ya pointed that out to, cuz scalded marines yell and holler an say just all the narliest things too, I mean, you just would'nt believe it some of the things they say, and not an owie in the bunch, I mean geeez, all these big ole testosterone driven he-men guys you'd think the way they'd carry on an all about this big ole wound and that ole scar and "LOOK , this I got that time on Salusis prime when she bit me"...

seem like a little thing like a second degree burn onna a knuckle or two wouldn'yt be all THAT big a deal, ya know?


ANYWAYS, gotta go make some more adjustments onna the jump grid, the glowy grid part isn't the right color, then it's time to change the vid crystals for the Jumpin Buddies!

Toodles!

 

[Straybow]

No, 360 degrees Kelvin is only a little on the hot side for coffee.

 

[Eric]

Kelvin

Okay now it makes sense.

 

[jasper]

who is this kelvin and was he listed in celisus?

 

[Zutroi]

"Engines run on hydrogen, engine rooms run on coffee." Attributed to an unknown member of the Imperial Navy

 

[Jame]

(I Take a look at the topic title and...)

It's madness, I tell you, madness madness
maaaAaaaAaaaAAAAaaAaAAaAAAAaaaAAAHHHHHHHHHH-

"Splat!"

 

[PVernon]

Just because I could and ProFantacy included one in their Modern symbol set, I put one in the galley of my 150 DTon yacht deckplan.

 

[EntilZha]

Originally posted by far-trader:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by RainOfSteel:
Ah yes, but what about a TL-15 Espresso maker?

TL-15
1 Kg
Cr1000

Talks to you like a coffee bar server while making it; measures temperature precisely; mixes exactly; detects/removes poisons, biologicals, and nanobots; can be dropped off a ten story building or survive explosive decompression (without losing a millilitre of liquid); crafted with an Imperium-wide recognized industrial design in burnished titanium and black polymimetic impact plastic; and will still slice a tomato!

Oh great! Just what my Talkie Toaster needs

</font>[/QUOTE]

I was thinking of the Talkie Toaster as I read RainOfSteel's post. I don't think it would last long if there were a male Aslan on the same ship.

 

[RainOfSteel]

Originally posted by EntilZha:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by far-trader:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by RainOfSteel:
Ah yes, but what about a TL-15 Espresso maker?

TL-15
1 Kg
Cr1000

Talks to you like a coffee bar server while making it; measures temperature precisely; mixes exactly; detects/removes poisons, biologicals, and nanobots; can be dropped off a ten story building or survive explosive decompression (without losing a millilitre of liquid); crafted with an Imperium-wide recognized industrial design in burnished titanium and black polymimetic impact plastic; and will still slice a tomato!

Oh great! Just what my Talkie Toaster needs

</font>[/QUOTE]

I was thinking of the Talkie Toaster as I read RainOfSteel's post. I don't think it would last long if there were a male Aslan on the same ship.

</font>[/QUOTE]For an additional Cr200, your model can converse in any of twenty major languages from the six major races, with full cultural background in conversational interchange.