The Dreaded Urk Giant Pouncer 800kg 20/8 Battle x4 Claws/Teeth A0 F9 S3
For more than a millenia this creature has haunted the deep, misty valleys of Pimace (Pimace/Mora/Spinward Marches). For an equally long period of time, no one had managed to get even a glimpse of this awful beast*. The Dreaded Urk (officially "Urkus Terminus Terribilus") was named following the distressing number of disappearances among Scout Service explorers who ventured into the gigantic chasms which criss-cross the surface of Pimace. In fact, the Urk was thought for many years to simply be a figment of explorer's imaginations**.
It wasn't until the Imperial Scout Service chartered the services of a pair of exotic animal specialists to explore the region that any hard data was collected on these extremely rare and deadly beasts. The famed former Solomani Hunter, Pantera Tanzer and his faithful Vargr companion and noted xenobiologist, Arranghurrfl not only spent a standard year exploring the misty-bottomed canyons on that lonely world - they managed to capture a pair of the legendary creatures alive***. These specimens are currently on display as part of a permanent exhibit of the Spinward Faire.
The Dreaded Urk is a solitary pouncer of unusual size and disposition. Its massive bulk is colored a mottled shade of grey, helping it to blend in with the swirling mist and fog which shrouds its native habitat. Its body is bilaterally symetrical and roughly in the shape of a rounded column, which some have described as being "sausage shaped - link, not patty". While unable to travel long distances, the Urk is blindingly fast in short and medium range encounters. This is due primarily to the length of its four arms. These rather spindly-seeming appendages end in three-fingered graspers tipped with sharp claws, and the whole affair consists of nothing but bone, muscle and hide.
Seizing its prey in a vice-like grip, the Urk simply tosses its startled meal into a cavernous mouth and starts chewing. The unique digestive system of the Urk wastes nothing. Complex acids break down every last scrap of whatever material enters into one of the Urk's seven vast stomaches****.
The animal is also unique in that it excretes nothing. Everything consumed is converted over to fuel, or used in the complex process of making the Urk even larger and more frightening.
What is perhaps more disturbing*****. Is the fact that the Urk is the only form of life encountered in the valleys of Pimace to date. Some speculate that evolution simply hit on the right combination of traits at the very beginning, and then left well enough alone. Others believe the Urk simply devoured everything else foolish enough to have tried to make a go of it in a place where the only slot left on the food chain was the one labelled "Snowball's Chance in Hell". The simple, ruthless efficiency of the Urk's digestive system leaves no trace evidence for researchers to examine.
For the time being, until more extensive forays are made by the detached duty Scout Service explorers assigned to Pimace******, the Urk will remain a disturbing reminder that life is simply not pretty.
*Not exactly true. Sir Impalli Veraanenin, noted Vilani explorer, managed to get a very good look at one in 038-0008. Unfortunately, The Dreaded Urk spotted Impalli at the same time. This made reporting back to his camrades rather difficult, since the intrepid explorer had embarked on an extensive tour of the Urk's rather impressive (and thorough) digestive system less than three seconds later.
**The figment which killed them, that is.
***When asked how they managed this particular feat, Tanzer claimed the technique was a trade secret. Arranghurrfl insisted it had nothing to do with the disappearance of seven of their assistants, two large crates of raw meat, 400 meters of monofilament, and several large grappling hooks. He claims those items were simply "misplaced", and were sure to turn up sooner or later. Only one reporter took note of the fact the Vargr had managed the difficult task of crossing both sets of fingers while making the above statements.
****In 1105, a captive Urk was suspected of snatching a set of Eternaluggage from a visiting researcher to the Spinward Faire. Security camera footage is unclear, since the researcher in question had his back turned to the Urk's durasteel cage and was blocking the camera pickup. Those questioned about the incident all agreed the researcher should have A) known better than to turn his back on an Urk, and B) immediately fallen to his knees in thanks that his luggage was lost, and not his life.
*****As if the mere existence of The Dreaded Urk in this galaxy is not disturbing enough.
******A transcript of the last official meeting of the group reads thusly:
Explorer 1: I need to make this perfecly clear. There is no way in hell I'm setting foot on that bloody rock.
Explorer 2: Well somebody has to do it.
Explorer 3: Don't look at me. I've got kids.
Explorer 1: So do I. They just don't know they're mine.
Room: (sniggering laughter)
Explorer 2: Seriously, somebody has to do it.
Explorer 1: Well, if you're so bloody set on it, why don't you just go then?
Explorer 2: Well, maybe I just will!
Explorer 1: Well, go on then.
Explorer 2: Well, maybe I just will!
Explorer 1: Well, off with you then, Mister Smartypants!
Explorer 2: Right! We'll see who gets all the glory in this outfit you clods!
Room: (chair scraping, stomping footsteps fading into the distance)
Explorer 3: That was bloody brilliant, mate.
Explorer 1: Dibs on his tri-d vids.
Explorer 3: I'll just pop-off an X-boat message for a new replacement, shall I?
Explorer 1: See if they can send us another from Administration...
Transcript Ends.
For more than a millenia this creature has haunted the deep, misty valleys of Pimace (Pimace/Mora/Spinward Marches). For an equally long period of time, no one had managed to get even a glimpse of this awful beast*. The Dreaded Urk (officially "Urkus Terminus Terribilus") was named following the distressing number of disappearances among Scout Service explorers who ventured into the gigantic chasms which criss-cross the surface of Pimace. In fact, the Urk was thought for many years to simply be a figment of explorer's imaginations**.
It wasn't until the Imperial Scout Service chartered the services of a pair of exotic animal specialists to explore the region that any hard data was collected on these extremely rare and deadly beasts. The famed former Solomani Hunter, Pantera Tanzer and his faithful Vargr companion and noted xenobiologist, Arranghurrfl not only spent a standard year exploring the misty-bottomed canyons on that lonely world - they managed to capture a pair of the legendary creatures alive***. These specimens are currently on display as part of a permanent exhibit of the Spinward Faire.
The Dreaded Urk is a solitary pouncer of unusual size and disposition. Its massive bulk is colored a mottled shade of grey, helping it to blend in with the swirling mist and fog which shrouds its native habitat. Its body is bilaterally symetrical and roughly in the shape of a rounded column, which some have described as being "sausage shaped - link, not patty". While unable to travel long distances, the Urk is blindingly fast in short and medium range encounters. This is due primarily to the length of its four arms. These rather spindly-seeming appendages end in three-fingered graspers tipped with sharp claws, and the whole affair consists of nothing but bone, muscle and hide.
Seizing its prey in a vice-like grip, the Urk simply tosses its startled meal into a cavernous mouth and starts chewing. The unique digestive system of the Urk wastes nothing. Complex acids break down every last scrap of whatever material enters into one of the Urk's seven vast stomaches****.
The animal is also unique in that it excretes nothing. Everything consumed is converted over to fuel, or used in the complex process of making the Urk even larger and more frightening.
What is perhaps more disturbing*****. Is the fact that the Urk is the only form of life encountered in the valleys of Pimace to date. Some speculate that evolution simply hit on the right combination of traits at the very beginning, and then left well enough alone. Others believe the Urk simply devoured everything else foolish enough to have tried to make a go of it in a place where the only slot left on the food chain was the one labelled "Snowball's Chance in Hell". The simple, ruthless efficiency of the Urk's digestive system leaves no trace evidence for researchers to examine.
For the time being, until more extensive forays are made by the detached duty Scout Service explorers assigned to Pimace******, the Urk will remain a disturbing reminder that life is simply not pretty.
*Not exactly true. Sir Impalli Veraanenin, noted Vilani explorer, managed to get a very good look at one in 038-0008. Unfortunately, The Dreaded Urk spotted Impalli at the same time. This made reporting back to his camrades rather difficult, since the intrepid explorer had embarked on an extensive tour of the Urk's rather impressive (and thorough) digestive system less than three seconds later.
**The figment which killed them, that is.
***When asked how they managed this particular feat, Tanzer claimed the technique was a trade secret. Arranghurrfl insisted it had nothing to do with the disappearance of seven of their assistants, two large crates of raw meat, 400 meters of monofilament, and several large grappling hooks. He claims those items were simply "misplaced", and were sure to turn up sooner or later. Only one reporter took note of the fact the Vargr had managed the difficult task of crossing both sets of fingers while making the above statements.
****In 1105, a captive Urk was suspected of snatching a set of Eternaluggage from a visiting researcher to the Spinward Faire. Security camera footage is unclear, since the researcher in question had his back turned to the Urk's durasteel cage and was blocking the camera pickup. Those questioned about the incident all agreed the researcher should have A) known better than to turn his back on an Urk, and B) immediately fallen to his knees in thanks that his luggage was lost, and not his life.
*****As if the mere existence of The Dreaded Urk in this galaxy is not disturbing enough.
******A transcript of the last official meeting of the group reads thusly:
Explorer 1: I need to make this perfecly clear. There is no way in hell I'm setting foot on that bloody rock.
Explorer 2: Well somebody has to do it.
Explorer 3: Don't look at me. I've got kids.
Explorer 1: So do I. They just don't know they're mine.
Room: (sniggering laughter)
Explorer 2: Seriously, somebody has to do it.
Explorer 1: Well, if you're so bloody set on it, why don't you just go then?
Explorer 2: Well, maybe I just will!
Explorer 1: Well, go on then.
Explorer 2: Well, maybe I just will!
Explorer 1: Well, off with you then, Mister Smartypants!
Explorer 2: Right! We'll see who gets all the glory in this outfit you clods!
Room: (chair scraping, stomping footsteps fading into the distance)
Explorer 3: That was bloody brilliant, mate.
Explorer 1: Dibs on his tri-d vids.
Explorer 3: I'll just pop-off an X-boat message for a new replacement, shall I?
Explorer 1: See if they can send us another from Administration...
Transcript Ends.
