Imperial Recorded Messages

[Mythmere]

I was writing up a starport and it occurred to me that ships would probably be required to play a canned message before docking to alert passengers to important rules of the starport. This message would probably be the same across the Imperium. I wrote one up (it follows), but I figured the people on this board could either (a) point out that the text of such a recording already exists, or (b) comment on mine to improve it. Accordingly, here is the text of the recording I wrote up:
"You are departing from a planetary shuttle craft into Imperial jurisdiction. Hail the Emperor! Departure from this craft means that you become subject not only to the Imperial High Law which is applicable to all planets and star systems within the Imperium, but also to Imperial Territorial Law. Imperial Territorial law applies in the areas governed by no authority but the Imperium, such as starports. Pamphlets providing information about the Imperium are available within the starport at clearly marked locations; if you have any questions about the legality of actions you propose to undertake while on Imperial territory, please consult with the Starport authorities prior to undertaking such actions. At this time, please ensure that you divest yourself of all machine guns, automatic rifles, laser weapons, concealed pistols, bombs, grenades, and biological weapons. These are not permitted on the station other than in checked baggage. Submachineguns may be carried openly in the station, but visitors are cautioned that order on this station is maintained by a contingent of Imperial Marines."

 

[sandman]

Seems OK from my side...

I like it

Might I steal it for my games?

 

[Mythmere]

Pilfer away to your heart's content, Sandman! That's what boards are for, this incorporeal world where theft is the sincerest form of flattery...I'll trade it for your list of things that can go wrong with a ship, if you'll post it in your poisoned gift thread.

 

[sandman]

I haven't made such a list, it was just to discuss what Refs were giving their players Really Nice Things (TM) with anticipation in seeing them curse him for the years to come

There's soooo much you can give...

Think Murphy. Think of ALL that could go wrong, then go further than that

As an example for the ship my player "got" from me, just think about all the Wonderous Experience it will be to find spare parts for something that isn't compliant with the Imperium's Standards

Then they can "Win" the friendship of a high placed officer/official just to "Win" their enemies "attention"

It's easy to come up with "Things that can turn bad(TM)"

 

[Darium]

Looks good , but you forgot something. NUKES, a suitcase nuke would really ruin your day.