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You might be a redneck traveller if...

T

The Thing

SOC-13
...you have a confederate flag on your free trader.

...you have an 8 track in your free trader.

...you have a separate fusion power plant dedicated solely to running your bug zapper.

...you've ever fixed a jump drive with bailing wire and duct tape.

...Vargr's buy you deodorant for your birthday.

...the main color on your free trader is primer grey.

...when your ship is damaged you consider fixing the beer fridge to be a higher priority than fixing the life support system.

...you can easily describe the taste of barbequed Droyne.

...you deal with waste heat from your fusion reactor by mounting a barbeque grill in your engine room. ( " 'Waste heat' my ass! This thing'll cook a 20 pound rack of ribs in 30 minutes!")

..your free trader usually has more beer than liquid hydrogen on board at any given time.

...you refer to Aslan as "Varmints".

...Zhodani seem to have a very hard time reading your mind.

...when you discover a new habitable planet the first thing you do is look for a good fishin' spot.

...your definition of "Ancient treasure" is when you find a six pack you'd forgotten about under your bed.

...you mow your lawn and find a Type S courrier.

...your home town is made of discarded cargo pods.
 
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Those who haven't fixed their jump drive with duct tape and bailing wire, raise your hands. ;)


...your free trader has a gun rack right behind the pilot's chair.

...your pilot's chair is a folding lawn chair.

...your air locks are mis-matched.

...you think a dress uniform is a set of clean (but still holey) jeans and a less greasy t-shirt.

...if your wife asks "If we get a divorce, are we still brother and sister?"
 
..you refer to hivers as "Critters".

...you think that putting nitrous oxide in your jump drive will make it go faster.

...you store kegs of beer and microwave pizzas in your low passage berths when no one's using them.

...you have a trailer hitch on the back of your ship, and have used it.
 
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...Scouts fall back on their "First Contact" training when ever you enter a star port bar.

...Vargr avoid you for fear of catching fleas.

...K'Kree declare war on any planet you land on.

...Hivers invite you over to meet their hobby group colleges.

...Solies greet you with a good old fashioned "Rebel Yell".

...female Aslan shake their heads angrily and walk away when you meet them.

...male Aslan talk about using your head as their next trophy.

...Dyrone walk away from you backwards; just to be on the safe side.

...Zho start laughing and them look guilty. They are then known to report for "Re-integration therapy".
 
...you mounted deer spotlights on the top of your Free Trader

...you hang a set of swinging plastic testicles off the aft end of your ship

...you use cee-ment blocks instead of landing gear
 
Burocrate said:
...Scouts fall back on their "First Contact" training when ever you enter a star port bar.

...Vargr avoid you for fear of catching fleas.

...K'Kree declare war on any planet you land on.

...Hivers invite you over to meet their hobby group colleges.

...Solies greet you with a good old fashioned "Rebel Yell".

...female Aslan shake their heads angrily and walk away when you meet them.
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Click to expand...

I didn't quite get the last one....:confused:
 
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