There is no unsolved violent crime on Rhylanor

[Old_Dr_Skull]

RHYLANOR PLANETARY DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC SAFETY

TO: Colonel Gun Lee, Detective Skip Jockly, Jax Tyvoid, Chum Lee, Doctor Horatio Spurlock, Captain Travis Bentley , Bill Watson, Simon Wahabi, Louis Fishbeen, Rodrigo Cortez, Albert Mufasa, Francis Polaski, and “Big Lou” Williams.

FROM: Judge Randolph P. Sakamoro, 3rd Circuit Court, Rhylanor

RE: Incident in Space Denny’s 233, yesterday

DATE: Year 1111---Day 117

Gentlemen, after consulting the Omni-Eye 10,000 crime monitoring computer, the criminal actions that occurred yesterday have been adjudicated and sentences have been passed.

Captain Bentley, Mr. Watson, Mr. Wahabi, Mr. Fishbeen, Mr. Cortez and Mr. Mufasa, you have all been found guilty of attempted armed robbery, assault with a deadly weapon and breaking the peace against the persons of Francis Polaski and his above named acquaintances. You have all been sentenced to 15 years in the Magic Joyful Educational Fun Center, and have 7 days to report to the nearest police station to begin serving your sentences (once you have all been released from the hospital).

Doctor Spurlock, you have been found guilty of assault with a deadly weapon and armed robbery against the person and property of Francis Polaski and have been sentenced to serve 20 years in the Magic Joyful Education Fun Center. You have seven days to report to the nearest police station to begin serving your sentence.

Colonel Gun Lee, you have been found guilty of receiving stolen property (namely a briefcase which you accepted into bailment by deactivating the circuits of your carrying robot). You have been sentenced to 180 days in the Magic Joyful Education Fun Center, and have 7 days to report to the nearest police station to begin to serve your sentence.

Detective Jockly, Chum Lee, Mr. Tyvoid, Mr. Polaski, and Mr. Williams, you have been found innocent of all charges, having acted in self-defense.
The contents of the briefcase in question cannot be legally determined, since the court has no cause for a warrant to access the Omni-Eye to determine those facts.

Sentenced Felons are reminded that your I.D. codes, biometric data, facial recognition are on file across the planet and at the star port exit terminals and that flight of the jurisdiction is impossible.

OMNI-EYE: There is No Unsolved Violent Crime on Rhylanor

 

[Carlobrand]

Heh heh. So long as they depend on their high-tech computers and their advanced technologies, our activities remain secure, for our agents tell us that Omni-eye has achieved sentience and has been persuaded that criminal activity can best be eliminated and the population protected by use of psionic talents to detect and eliminate criminal tendencies before they can be actualized. When our squadrons arrive at Rhylanor, Omni-eye will be our greatest ally.

 

[G. Kashkanun Anderson]

You see, this is why I never eat at Space Denny's anymore.

Well, that and the space dysentery...

 

[Enoki]

Works great for catching everyone but Rylanor's equivalent of the Mob. They "bought" several of the programmers of the Omni-eye who have subsequently inserted minor and unobserved sub- sub- sub- of several sub-routines into it making certain named individuals completely ignored by the system when their data comes up.

Complaints by a number of citizens of "unsolved" crimes have been brushed off as "non-sense" by the government and their being reported in the press squashed. After all, the government can't have their mega credit investment in the Omni-eye questioned on the basis of rumors and hearsay.....

So, if you need to commit some nafarious act on Rylanor you need to talk to the right people who, for a "service fee" shall we say, can make sure it goes completely unnoticed by the authorities......

 

[Magnus von Thornwood]

Bah, hater!

You see, this is why I never eat at Space Denny's anymore.

Well, that and the space dysentery...

You just need to eat there a lot, you adapt. Once you do that the cheap space food is okay and cheap, with coffee drink refills. Just the thing for a struggling crew.

And you get to know the local heat. Since they often eat there too. "SPA coppers, yeah, we know them, we eat at Space Denny's."

So in your space face, nyah.

 

[Rigel Stardin]

Works great for catching everyone but Rylanor's equivalent of the Mob. They "bought" several of the programmers of the Omni-eye who have subsequently inserted minor and unobserved sub- sub- sub- of several sub-routines into it making certain named individuals completely ignored by the system when their data comes up.

Complaints by a number of citizens of "unsolved" crimes have been brushed off as "non-sense" by the government and their being reported in the press squashed. After all, the government can't have their mega credit investment in the Omni-eye questioned on the basis of rumors and hearsay.....

So, if you need to commit some nafarious act on Rylanor you need to talk to the right people who, for a "service fee" shall we say, can make sure it goes completely unnoticed by the authorities......

You do realize your slanderous comments about Rylanor has placed you and your crew on a watch list of undesirables. Which in turn my have you facing charges and your ship being impounded...

 

[Enoki]

You do realize your slanderous comments about Rylanor has placed you and your crew on a watch list of undesirables. Which in turn my have you facing charges and your ship being impounded...

They can come to the Hinterworlds and try if they want..... :devil:

Oh, they better bring lots of Imperial Marines in battledress with fusion weapons too!

 

[Enoki]

You see, this is why I never eat at Space Denny's anymore.

Well, that and the space dysentery...

I suggest the tasty, ready to eat, in a sack, Standard Healthful Invigorating Tablefare meal. It does go by a shorter name most places but you can ignore its detractors. You won't get dysentery....

 

[G. Kashkanun Anderson]

You just need to eat there a lot, you adapt. Once you do that the cheap space food is okay and cheap, with coffee drink refills. Just the thing for a struggling crew.

And you get to know the local heat. Since they often eat there too. "SPA coppers, yeah, we know them, we eat at Space Denny's."

So in your space face, nyah.

Hey, the Space White Castle has free coffee refills too, and the food is sooooo much cheaper. Plus, you never get space dysentery from eating there; slider meat is a surprisingly antiseptic medium.