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Merchie Rules

Zutroi

SOC-12
I'd like to assemble the collective wits of the Imperium to come up with Traveller's answer to the Rules of Acquisition (from that TV show). To start the ball rolling I submit:

1 - Never hire ex-sub crews. If they can't make it on a subsidized merchant, they shouldn't be out here!

2 - Engines run on hydrogen, engine rooms run on coffee.

3 - Never tell the Customs Inspector the real purpose of your visit, just on general principles.

4 - Avoid 'Museum Tours' of planets ruled by dictatorships, unless you really, really like statues of The Great and Beloved Leader.

5 - Don't play poker with an Aslan male unless you're SURE he doesn't understand the idea of money. If you are sure, only a fool DOESN'T offer to teach him a new skill.
 
8 - Planets don't dodge.
9 - Just because they breath the same mix doesn't mean they are compatible with the ship's crew.
10 - No matter how human, check the sociological database for any "quaint local customs" of prospective hires' homeworlds... checking for such things as caniballism, 2 week manditory fasts, unusual (dangerous) religious equipment, or potentially upsetting prohibitions (like a medic not being able to touch members of the oposite sex, or of other species, or even other human minor races...).
11 - low altitude multi-mach flybys are to be avoided... especially if the local atmosphere is tainted.
 
12. Always make sure the hatch door is close. Saves embarrassment and having to retrieve the captain when he went to inspect the air lock
 
In the Spinward Marches
15. A Sword-Worlder and his crimps are soon Parted!

16. Never engage a Mertractan in a market competition where profits are the prize!

Anywhere
17. Always buy cheap and sell dear!

In The Hive federation
18. Always, always ask if those really are corndogs!

19. See the Ithklur, & unload last years'snowglobes!
 
And another...
The Universal Law of Supply & Demand.

#21.-"They demand That I supply them-So I'm demanding you re-supply me at once!"--Anxious Merchant with small gathering crowd of rowdy Ithklur following him
 
Still Another...
In the Spinward marches

#22. Sword Worlders!<grinning> AH yes,--there's one born every minute! <rubs hands together with glee>.
 
#23. ALLWAYS keap a quilified person on drive watch as less survear Crash Starts tax your deives less. (and if you don't know why crash starts are neaded give up the Free Trader game NOW!!!)
 
In Vland:

#24. For the good of the company, any client state at TL-8 we can keep there, is a happy client state!

#25. Any profits we seek are for the benefit of us all!

#26. Monopoly? What an ugly Solomani word! We have our invested interests, and loyal clients who know where their better interests lie. [said with a laconic deadpan smile]
 
the Vargr Extents

#27. The next Pinkie [see also human]you see selling Trraderr Jim's Hair Tonic [Coffee juice@tm use number 19]will never reach orrbit! [With fangs bared in snarl]

#28. Copywrright laws? We Varrgrr have a rrright to copy everything![said with Incredulous tone of amazement]

#29. [On The Law of Aquisition]-WE Came, We saw it, we took it, we sold it for prrofit!

#30. Piracy is the first step of Commerce!--Old Corsair's Proverb
 
in the Solomani Sphere

31. There's no such thing as too much profit.

32. Solomani Security is your friend. Just ask them....

33. Regular "donations" to the Solomani Party are an investment in your future.

34. Never bargain with Hivers. If you got a good deal, how would you know?
 
In the Vargr Extents [cont'd.]

#35. "What's yourrs' is Mine, whats mine is mine, and anything not nailed down we have a prrybarr forr!"--Old Corsair's proverb

#36. "An Unguarrded Planet is an opporrtunity overrripe for prrofits."--Old Corsair's proverb

#37. "On serious ground, gather in plunder. On safe ground sell it."--Old Corsair's Proverb
 
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