Funniest Adventure Moments

[sabredog]

I need a good laugh and we've all have plenty of amusing moments from memorable characters, so...what are some of the funniest moments you’ve had in either a game you were running or were running in. OTU or otherwise.

For example I was playing in a game run by one of my regular players a while ago. He runs the OTU so unlike mine the usual conventions applied to aliens and all that. So, while I was running an Solomani with a shady terrorist past, the other three were playing a Vargr, an Aslan, and a wealthy noble down on his luck but pretentious as heck that called himself The Sultan. And he wore a turban. You can see where this might be going….

Anyway we were breaking into a ship captain’s house on some Imperial world to find some lost logs he had that would help us find some lost colony world that he supposedly had described having Ancient artifacts by the truckload. The guy was passed out at the bar we frequented and we had liberated his keys. But we forgot about the alarm. So when we opened the safe the alarms went off and we scurried out to the air/raft for a getaway.

“The Sultan” barely made his rolls so we barely got far enough away before the cops pulled us over because we were going a little too fast. I told the gang to “just act natural”, and the cop comes up and asks the usual questions, then says, “There was a break in not far from here, you guys haven’t seen anything unusual have you?”

At this point I started laughing so hard my Big Gulp emptied through my nose...….here we were on an Imperial world, in a car with a cat, a dog, a former terrorist, and the driver is a guy in a turban who suddenly blurts out "I'm not a Zhodani!".

“Gee, no officer, nothing unusual here. But thanks for asking.”

 

[kafka47]

When my players managed to take down the Pirate King dressed in full battle armour save the head. By a combination of lucky stealth rolls, a tranq gun and a revolver with one bullet. Nigh high to FORMIDABLE tasks but each of the rolls made it. Luckily for them the rest of the pirates were controlled via implants slaved to the Pirate King's biosignature...so they did not have deal with a ship full of homocidical maniacs.

 

[beowulf2044]

Ah, Player Character loyality, or lack thereof. On one adventure, one of the PC's managed to get himslf taken prisoner. Immediatly, another PC states: "Well, that's it for him." Later on in the adventure, the captured PC managed to free himself.

Cut to several adventures later. The PC who instantly wrote off her fellow Player was shot down while flying a pinnace and made a splash landing on a planet's ocean. When she discovered the pinnace was completly disabled, her first words were: "Well, isn't anyone going to rescue me?" Followed by the chourus of everyone else shouting, "WELL, THAT'S IT FOR HER!"

 

[Supplement Four]

I can think of two moments that had us all giggling like little school girls.

One, way back when, was in a Dragonlance D&D game, when the player characters, having gone through hell, beat to a pulp, with no hope at the end of the tunnel, were foraging through the ruins of Xak Tsorath, the lair of the Black Dragon.

They stumbled upon this gully dwarf. He was kinda retarded, really, having a grand old time, playing with a piece of his own (for lack of a better PC term) poo-poo like it was a glob of playdough.

Man, the players had a field day with this guy. And, it was a hilarious interlude among the deadly seriousness of that adventure.

Another time, a player created a character in the Star Wars universe. I forget the species, but he was a small, squirrel like creature. He kinda reminded me of Rocky (from Rocky and Bullwinkle). He even wore an old leather pilot's cap like Rocky did.

The character's name was Byrne. He was a smuggler. His race couldn't see well, so he always had on these strange goggles with telescoping lenses. The player would describe how he'd be looking at you with the lenses constantly moving in and out.

The alien may have looked like Rocky, but he sure didn't act like one. He spoke with a lisp, and the player made certain whistles at the ends of his sentences.

This guy was a hoot. We had a great time with him.

And, he was mean as a snake. People were always under-estimating him because he looked like a big 4 foot squirrel.

One of the other players had a character who got off on the wrong foot with Bryne, and he was playing a Wookiee. Bryne wasn't afraid of the giant Wookiee at all. The others in the group had to keep the Wookiee from tearing the little squirrel creature limb-from-limb at least once per adventure.

It was a never ending source of amusment during that campaign (my longest Star Wars campaign).

We had a lot of fun i that campaign. It was full of high adventure. One of the players played a Rodian bounty hunter. His name was Epplebus Ooo. Every time he introduced himself, he would make this big production out of his first name: Ep-pull-bus. Then he'd take a dramatic pause, before continuing in a lowered voice: Oooooo.

 

[sabredog]

Ok, in non-Traveller:

My Call of Cthuhu campaign players had among them an archeology professor named Archie Oogly (what can I say, the casualty rate in that game is so high coming up with names can be a challenge in itself) who taught at Miskatonic.

Prior to heading out on yet another doomed expedition to some lost city of death and insanity the faculty gave Archie and his friends a going away party. At one point Archie (very drunk) got into a heated argument with a rival faculty member over whether or not the dead fly they found in one of the layers of the casserole was an example of evolutionary progression or merely the result of geological shifting. Archie stabbed the guy with his little cocktail sword (like are used for olives in martinis), the other professor poked back and the swordfight was on….until Archie rolled an impale result and left the guy on the floor with a little toothpick sword sticking out of his chest. He wasn’t dead; I deemed he just finally passed out from the drinks.

Later Archie had to help build a time travel device using Great Old One technology to go back to prehistoric times and retrieve and artifact that they needed to stop the bad guys from using in the future to open some gate. So he makes the device using what’s at his house, and since to make it work he has to use his mind to guide the machine he wanted to be comfortable. So he uses his favorite rocking chair.

They go back in time, and went they come back Archie is a little less stable than before after nearly getting eaten by saber-toothed tiger, but since he’s the only one who knows how to use the machine he has to run it. One the way back, they hit some “turbulence” as Archie starts to pass out, and the rocking chair rocks Archie’s head outside the bubble of real-time the machine is inside. The players pull him back in but are scared now that they have screwed up something huge ala’ “The Sound of Thunder.” But when they return all seems normal, until….

…about two years later in game time the players are in France and they go to the museum where the Bayeux Tapestry is. They see that there is a group arguing about something in the section where King Harold and others are pointing in fear at Haley’s Comet. The players look closer and recognize Archie’s head, complete with glasses, is sticking out of the comet.

 

[Ran]

Wow. Great post sabredog.

Looking back on the great moments in my group, it's hard to pick something out that would make for a good story. A great deal of them require you to have actually been there to get "the joke".

 

[ThunderChilde]

Past traveller habits and situations.
We had an engineer build a belt fed, pump action, double barrel auto shotgun. Rube Goldberg has nothing on this. When he was nervous, he would cycle the weapon leaving a pile of cartridges on the ground. Which he tripped on more than once.

We had a comm officer solve a conundrum on the bridge, in that TU all ships were streamlined if the were Jumpships, nature of Jump space was the reason. Anyway, we were being chased by 2 pirates out to the jump limit when the Pilot noticed that the light to comfirm gear up was not lit. This caused a panic, engineer running around like a scared rabbit, etc. So the comm tech, calmly reached over, popped the cover, licked a finger and inserted it in the socket. Took one point of damage and announced that the light was just burnt out, go ahead and jump to save our lives. Priceless moment, the whole table went quiet, 8 players in that game. GM rolled with it, it was too cool not to.

Many more fine moments, might make a long series of posts.

 

[sabredog]

My players picked up a job from a corporate patron they had been working for on small jobs for a while. They had been pushing to get some of the higher paying big jobs so the patron decides to give them a chance at something because in this case time was of the essence.

They were to recover some stolen secret biotech from another corporate espionage team. The patron told them that not only were they to recover the materials and data, but because he wanted to send a message to anyone else who might think of trying it again he told the players, "I want casulties, gentlemen. Casualties."

So off go our intrpeid travellers to try to catch the other guys before they can leave the system and jump. They caught up with them at the starport and both they and the bad guys exchanged a few shots as they both ran for thier respective ships. The players figured they'd have the edge if they could get off the ground first, but the other guy's were quicker on the draw and faster.

So, full of adreniline and visions of megacredit bonuses for finally hitting the Big Time the players fire up the turrets and put a couple of shots into the other ship thinking they'll slow it down.

Nope, they rolled too high and vaporized the sucker.

"Dang, we shot it too much. Think we'll still get paid?"

"I dunno. Maybe we better just get out of here."

"Crap, another planet we can never go back to!"

 

[spinwardpirate]

So Navy Intel finds a curious anomaly beyond Imperial Space. A band of troubleshooters (the characters) is called in to investigate. The base is of obvious Ancient origins. The troubleshooters enter the base and begin a search. (I was playing up the creepiness and ancientness during the whole thing.) The group finally works their way into the long deserted command post, their helmet lights playing tricks on their eyes. At the far end of the room rises a pillar, surmounted with a command chair. One of the characters approaches. Climbs atop the pillar. Sits and the chair and says... "Hey look everybody! I'm an Ancient!"
At which point we all busted out laughing.

 

[ThunderChilde]

More moments from the old Republic Campaign of yore

More moments from the same campaign. In this TU the FIrst Imperium functionally replaced the Ancients, for both tech and why humaniti is everywhere, 2nd and 3rd Imperiums were non- human, 4th, ours was Hman dominated variant of the OTU Imperium.

The set up: We had pilfered a First Republic bunker and gotten some LAW type rockets that still seemed functional amoung other goodies. We were tracking down a group of plotters who were gunning for the Sector Duke's head. Our only heavy weapon qualified guys was down the road behind a stone wall, while we were searching the safe house.
Scene One: A limo enters the grounds and accelerates up the road twoward the house, it is armoured, we've seen it before, so Smedley limbers up the old Rocket and lets fly.....misses horribly and hits a cow in the field past the limo. Mooooooo Booooooooom is still cause for chuckles. It was a quantum warhead, blew a 150 foot crater in the field, and rolled the limo over, the shockwave collapsed part of the house on some of the other PC's , and the stone wall onto Smedley meanwhile.....

Out in the winery orchards doing a sweep was a Ursoid Marine and a PC we called Mr. Death for good reason. The firefight that errupted out there was comical, no real line of sight, gunfire and grenades, and the bear was stalking down all the terrorists, it was maze out there, and the Bear, just walked through the walls to get to people, it was a horror show for the baddies. The previously mentioned engineer stood at the ramp of the ships boat and pumped rounds all over the ground listening to the screams, gunfire and explosions.

Anyway the Navy ship in orbit could not miss the effects of a quantum effect warhead, they showed up and took away all our toys. Boo Hoo

 

[Easterner9504]

Tony and Carl

Carl hated RPG'ing, servants of Satan and all that, so he wouldn't play. That grew old fast so he invented the DH. As designated heavy it was his job to kill PC's. He's also the guy when watching TV is first to scream "STENCH" at unkillable heroes, easily killed red shirts, the slow kills later parodied in Austin Powers, all the stuff that makes TV schlock until recent times in war & sci-fi dramas. He loved TOUR OF DUTY as cast killed off unexpectedly.

Star Trek-FASA- published Gorn Adventure.
A very large landing party breaks out from Gorn prison that has roving patrols armed with stunners or more likely blasters. Sonny, ex Nam vet decides to get killed and is first in whenever Gorn sighted. DH Carl dutifully diced it up: stunner every time Sonny attacked, blaster for NPC's. After stunning (and missing a few times) Sonny a few times Carl was dangling from the chandeliers in his worst nightmare. He always stunned the PC's and killed the redshirts. He couldn't believe it was playing out as on TV and he'd be 1st in line cursing the show and writers.

Tony must Die!

Twilights Peak, Tony, think Ben Stein with passion, (motto: You have got to be kidding me) is running the adventure solo. Carl has Zho troops. He pins Tony in caves over river. I hold up palms and say. You see a face here and here. Carl fired & fired, yet not once chose the Tony face. He died laughing.

Tony must Die 2!
Deciding the crew needed a challenge they found a sleeper ship crashed in the ice. After digging through they found Reticulan Parasites were loosened. Heavy casulties ensued, I think the CarlAlien might even have off'ed or cocooned some PC's. Then two Carlticulan's trapped Tony in a corridor one left, one right an unexplored room at his back. Curtains for Tony? The aliens charged and somehow both failed their grasp tasks (like an 18 in GURPS would be someday) and grappled each other and rolled down corridor falling down shaft while Tony backs into room, which of course is empty. Carl screams Tonydice!!!!!!

Then he says lets play SEEKRIEG, Tony sinks Carl's flagship with one salvo, critical hit, BOOM! TONYDICE!!!!!! is heard again. In SEEKRIEG Carl also suffered from Bobbydice & Markdice too more luck rollers. Carl demands Bobby roll dice 15' across the celler. BOOM. Use a dice cup. BOOM Like Red Buttons in the LONGEST DAY.

 

[sabredog]

I had a player who had rolled up what he thought was the ultimate killing machine with blades, fist, and pistols. Melee-5, Blade-5, Handgun-5... I think he might have known how to drive an air/raft but I doubt it. Everyone wanted him to reroll it so he'd "get some useful skills", but he insisted on keeping it. He said, "What are the odds? This guy's gonna be awesome in combat!"

So there they were, caught in the middle of a bar brawl between some Marines and some Scouts and this guy wades into the thick of it, deliberately smacks the biggest Marine with a turkey leg and says over his shoulder, "Watch this!"

And rolls snakeyes with his Melee....gets his butt handed to him by the Marine....says, "Wait I can take him" and rolls snakeyes with his Blade...gets tossed through the door...gets mad and says "OK, no more playing around!" and then rolls snakeyes with his Autopistol so the Marine lays him out with another punch.

We all tried hard not to laugh but then I quietly muttered from behind the safety of my referee screen, "What are the odds?" and bedlam ensued.

 

[Ran]

I had a friend that always power gamed when he could to the point of it being a couple in jokes.

World of Darkness game, The players were duking it out with some baddies in an abandoned warehouse. Out of ammo and weapons, the players began using improvised weapons. I had at this time an encyclopedic knowledge of the weapons and modifiers in WoD. And as they cycled through their inventories, I speedily kept combat rolling. As the options wore thin and stamina began to deplete, the aforementioned friend was left cornered and with a few motorcycle tires.

He looked at me and asked flatly, "How much damage will a spinning motorcycle tire do? The spinning part is important... I need an extra damage die or two".
He died... gruesomely if I recall correctly.
It does to this day still get chuckles. When someone is cornered and asks if there is any motorcycle tires lying around.

---

In another game the players had this pink 50's Buick they cruised around in. They took it everywhere, litterally... as in jumping off of cliffs... they even ran over someone. It was supposed to be a plot hook, but they kept driving. The car was nigh indestructible as it fit the theme of the story. Good times.

Any how, in another game separate from that, the players were laying out the baddies in the middle of the street. The brawl turned serious after a few bad rolls. The aforementioned friend was playing a mage. If you're familiar with the setting, a mage can do nigh anything within reason. The more unlikely the event the more likely it is going to back fire disastrously.

He was backed into a corner tactically and entertained some drastic measures. Through a technicality he convinced me that he could dump allot of energy into attempting to summon something roughly the size of a car.

...the wheels began to turn...

"I SUMMON A PINK BUICK!" he proclaimed with much enthusiasm.
Of course I impress upon him the unlikely nature of a car appearing out of thin air. Let alone a... pink... buick?

"Dude... where hasn't that car been? Is it really that unlikely?" He replied.
So chuckles were had and a "non descript" Pink Buick plowed through the poor thug.

To this day "The size of a PINK BUICK!" is a unit of measurement in my gaming group. ("A fireball the size of a pink buick is flung at you!", "How many pink buick would you say that mech weighs?", "It's a nice sword, but it's no pink buick.") That started over a decade ago.

 

[Magnus von Thornwood]

Yep, all in the setup!

I had a friend that always power gamed when he could to the point of it being a couple in jokes.

World of Darkness game, The players were duking it out with some baddies in an abandoned warehouse. Out of ammo and weapons, the players began using improvised weapons. I had at this time an encyclopedic knowledge of the weapons and modifiers in WoD. And as they cycled through their inventories, I speedily kept combat rolling. As the options wore thin and stamina began to deplete, the aforementioned friend was left cornered and with a few motorcycle tires.

He looked at me and asked flatly, "How much damage will a spinning motorcycle tire do? The spinning part is important... I need an extra damage die or two".
He died... gruesomely if I recall correctly.
It does to this day still get chuckles. When someone is cornered and asks if there is any motorcycle tires lying around.

---

In another game the players had this pink 50's Buick they cruised around in. They took it everywhere, litterally... as in jumping off of cliffs... they even ran over someone. It was supposed to be a plot hook, but they kept driving. The car was nigh indestructible as it fit the theme of the story. Good times.

Any how, in another game separate from that, the players were laying out the baddies in the middle of the street. The brawl turned serious after a few bad rolls. The aforementioned friend was playing a mage. If you're familiar with the setting, a mage can do nigh anything within reason. The more unlikely the event the more likely it is going to back fire disastrously.

He was backed into a corner tactically and entertained some drastic measures. Through a technicality he convinced me that he could dump allot of energy into attempting to summon something roughly the size of a car.

...the wheels began to turn...

"I SUMMON A PINK BUICK!" he proclaimed with much enthusiasm.
Of course I impress upon him the unlikely nature of a car appearing out of thin air. Let alone a... pink... buick?

"Dude... where hasn't that car been? Is it really that unlikely?" He replied.
So chuckles were had and a "non descript" Pink Buick plowed through the poor thug.

To this day "The size of a PINK BUICK!" is a unit of measurement in my gaming group. ("A fireball the size of a pink buick is flung at you!", "How many pink buick would you say that mech weighs?", "It's a nice sword, but it's no pink buick.") That started over a decade ago.

Fanarking LMAO! Nice lead up to the Pink Buick, nice.

 

[Anthelios]

Dumb actions - funny consequences

I have a few funny ones, but they are all from 2nd edition DnD for some reason.

Armory - the PCs get separated from each other in an underground deep dwarf fortress. The paladin and the rogue are alone, having just fought off a pack of dwarves and barely made it into an old armory. The paladin is almost dead and they are out of healing, so he starts looking around.

Next to the crossbows her finds a wooden box with three glass vials, full of a black paste. He turns to the rogue. "I think I found healing potions."

"Dude, those are poison." replies the rogue. "Dont drink them."

"They might be healing potions." At this point everyone in the group says "Don't drink it its poison.". Well, the paladin drinks it anyway.

Suffice it to say they were poison, and he ends up laying unconscious on the floor. The Rogue buries him in a crates and leaves him.

Everyone laughed. Except the player who lost his paladin. Later on the group ended up blowing the place up by releasing a slumbering dragon. Then remember "Oh crap, the paladin was back there!"

Another time the group was exploring an eccentric wizards long abandoned tomb, and came across a bright silver orb twenty feet in diameter, with a sign warning them not to touch.

The wizard touches the orb, and promptly dies. The cleric brings him back.

Cleric "Don't touch that again."

Wizard "But some stuff in here is double sided, sometimes its good and sometimes bad. I touch it again." hes dies.

Other Wizard "Ha, I bet the third time is the good result." touches the orb, and dies.

Cleric brings them both back. "Don't f-ing touch that again!"
Both wizards look at each other, then push the cleric into the orb.

Dies. Everyone laughs. Except the poor cleric.

 

[Ran]

:rofl:
Good stuff Anthelios. I know that kind of group.

 

[mike wightman]

A friend of mine ran a solo AD&D game for me, while at the same time running another solo game for another friend.

He was an assassin who built up a huge army of orcs etc and wandered greyhawk slaughtering and pillaging.

I was a palladin building a coallition to hunt this vile beast.

Good game - ran for weeks.

As my army finally caught up with his and we agreed a time and a place to actually game out the resulting clash my adversary raided one last village.

He was in the habit of poisoning his weapons.

This time he cut himself.

Failed saving throw.

How we laughed

 

[Samules]

My classic traveller

FIRST POST :^)
After hijacking a merchant ship for some rebels who wanted the cargo people are finishing things up(setting a new course looting bodies) and one bloodthirsty aslan (who is short on cash) decides to rob the pasangers. After being unable to access several rooms he opens one door and promptly gets his but handed to him by a former army officer who had a rifle and the passenger then stole the players gear. The other players apologized (they were used to this) and revived him before their meeting with the rebels. When he met the rebels he spent his dwindling cash to hire a squad of them to bring down the guy. The passanger hosed them with an smg (stolen from the player) he then shot the player and looted the bodies AGAIN. The player still wouldn't give up so he attacked the passanger several more times until the party resorted to shooting him and locking him in a crate. lol
DANCING MONKEY <(''<) <( '' )> (>'')>

 

[Ran Targas]

I think every group has one member who manages to draw out the animosity of the others by generally being an @$$; ours was a Marine reservist who was more bullsh*t than bulldog. Sort of a munchkin without the cool gear. The veteran gamers in our group had little patience for his antics that more often than not backfired, ruining well thought out plans and setting the whole group back. Here are some of his stories:

- A commando raid started from a landing pad high above the city requiring the players to repel several almost 100 meters to a balcony below. Our hero, an Imperial Marine commando, arguing that he should be an expert at repelling due to his training, announces his intention to go head first down the rope (Australian crawl). He goes over the edge first, quickly covering the first twenty feet. Just as his rope goes taunt, another PC (played by an actual U.S. Army NCO) silently pulls out a combat knife and slices the rope, stating bluntly, "I hate those Marine pr*cks." No one could keep a straight face.

- Playing another Imperial Marine type, he left his post at the cargo lock while defending against pirates to put on his reflec armor, leaving a civilian (the ship's purser) to defend the airlock alone. Rushing back after several rounds of combat, he sees the airlock open and the merchant PC, gushing blood, backed up against the bulkhead. So our hero rushed into the airlock, guns ablazing, ignoring the merchant's warnings. Then there was a loud boom as the grenade the merchant threw into the airlock detonated. And that's when the RL fight started, both players yelling at the tops of their lungs, all the while ignoring what the GM was saying about the commando's kit. As the fight continued, despite warnings from the other players and the GM to settle down, several more grenades from the Marine's kit detonated in rapid succession. I thought the merchant player was going to hyper-ventilate.

- This time, thinking he would try out an Aslan, our hero rushed down an alley in pursuit of a petty thief. As each of the other players stated their intention to follow him down the alley, he reminded everyone that they were just humans and couldn't possibly keep up. The pursuit was allowed to last several minutes with the target and the Aslan gaining a sizeable lead on the rest of the party. Then the Aslan turned a corner and found himself in the middle of a gang of punks, twenty if memory serves. The first thing from the player's mouth was, "Where are you guys?" which garnered only blank stares. He then looked at the GM who said, "You tell me, Speeeedy; why don't you just roll how many combat rounds it takes for the others to show up." He rolled a twelve. The GM just smiled and said, "Here kitty kitty!" The others just leaned back in their chairs and laughed.

I never really understood why he would show up every Sunday afternoon, p*ss everyone off in the first ten minutes, and demand this kind of attention.

 

[Ran]

- A commando raid started from a landing pad high above the city requiring the players to repel several almost 100 meters to a balcony below. Our hero, an Imperial Marine commando, arguing that he should be an expert at repelling due to his training, announces his intention to go head first down the rope (Australian crawl). He goes over the edge first, quickly covering the first twenty feet. Just as his rope goes taunt, another PC (played by an actual U.S. Army NCO) silently pulls out a combat knife and slices the rope, stating bluntly, "I hate those Marine pr*cks." No one could keep a straight face.

:rofl:

Too funny. Reminds me of a time playing Mechwarrior RPG.

Players had, through a series of mishaps, a Pheonix Hawk and the head and entrails of a Stinger mech. One of the players, whom was being annoying at the time and constantly berating the pilot of the Pheonix Hawk to find a mech for him, sat in the head of the former Stinger. We ruled that the Jump range of the Pheonix Hawk would be limited while carrying the remains of the scout mech. Of which, the Stinger pilot insisted would be worth a fortune on the black market.

Combat had arisen in the middle of a snow storm against a Rifleman that was patrolling the area (we only had the original box set). Seeing an opportunity to solve two problems at once, the Pheonix Hawk chucked the head at the Rifleman and boosted away.

Even while being interrogated by the enemy, the stinger pilot was speechless.