Traveller Store CotI Features New Posts Mark Forums Read Register


Go Back TravellerRPG.com > Citizens of the Imperium > General Traveller Discussions > The Cleon Memorial Library

The Cleon Memorial Library For discussion of Traveller fiction, both official and fan-written. Fan-written drafts are explicitly welcome.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old November 7th, 2016, 08:49 PM
Leitz's Avatar
Leitz Leitz is offline
Baron
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Wretched hive of scum and villany
Posts: 2,431
Gallery : 0
Leitz Citizen+Leitz Citizen+
Default

Just read "The Huntress", reminds me of an ex-girlfriend that shows up in games now and again. :P
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old November 10th, 2016, 05:59 AM
Leitz's Avatar
Leitz Leitz is offline
Baron
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Wretched hive of scum and villany
Posts: 2,431
Gallery : 0
Leitz Citizen+Leitz Citizen+
Default

Just wanted to add to this, a downer. There was no one in the story to root for. One manipulates, one is a dufus, and the last becomes emotionally dead. Readers want to identify with at least one character in the story and to feel sympathetic to them. There's no one to latch on to there.

Any of the three, or all of them, could be made more attachable. Myra is hurt but struggles back, the guy is pressured into the marriage, and the manipulator is driven by some dark secret. Giving the reader some knowledge of why the issues exist helps.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old November 21st, 2016, 04:44 PM
lostscout5's Avatar
lostscout5 lostscout5 is offline
Knight
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Patchogue
Posts: 135
Gallery : 0
lostscout5 Citizen
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leitz View Post
Just read "The Huntress", reminds me of an ex-girlfriend that shows up in games now and again. :P
I think most of us know someone like Helga. Just be thankful your's is an ex. I pity the poor slob that is currently married to mine. But still better him than me!
__________________
Lost on the edge of the Imperium since 1981.
https://jrcliffordblog.wordpress.com
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old November 21st, 2016, 04:47 PM
lostscout5's Avatar
lostscout5 lostscout5 is offline
Knight
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Patchogue
Posts: 135
Gallery : 0
lostscout5 Citizen
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leitz View Post
Just wanted to add to this, a downer. There was no one in the story to root for. One manipulates, one is a dufus, and the last becomes emotionally dead. Readers want to identify with at least one character in the story and to feel sympathetic to them. There's no one to latch on to there.

Any of the three, or all of them, could be made more attachable. Myra is hurt but struggles back, the guy is pressured into the marriage, and the manipulator is driven by some dark secret. Giving the reader some knowledge of why the issues exist helps.
Hmm, good point. I always intended these shorts to be an introduction to the characters. I develop Myra more in the novel I'm working on. But I should have expanded more here. Thanks.
__________________
Lost on the edge of the Imperium since 1981.
https://jrcliffordblog.wordpress.com
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old November 21st, 2016, 04:54 PM
lostscout5's Avatar
lostscout5 lostscout5 is offline
Knight
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Patchogue
Posts: 135
Gallery : 0
lostscout5 Citizen
Default

Been a little busy with work and family of late. So I haven't been on the site much. But I have been working on my novel "Sword in the Shadows". About 30-40% done. It's set in 1202. Mostly on Mora/Mora. But if these changes to the Empress wave are right, the second book I planned to wright just went right out the window. C'est la vie!
__________________
Lost on the edge of the Imperium since 1981.
https://jrcliffordblog.wordpress.com
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old November 21st, 2016, 05:03 PM
Leitz's Avatar
Leitz Leitz is offline
Baron
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Wretched hive of scum and villany
Posts: 2,431
Gallery : 0
Leitz Citizen+Leitz Citizen+
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by lostscout5 View Post
Been a little busy with work and family of late. So I haven't been on the site much. But I have been working on my novel "Sword in the Shadows". About 30-40% done. It's set in 1202. Mostly on Mora/Mora. But if these changes to the Empress wave are right, the second book I planned to wright just went right out the window. C'est la vie!
The joy of a non-OTU setting is doing what you want. Mine are in 1428 and the game we're playing is 1416. Zip on the Empress Wave. Did a little reading on it and dropped it. Ugh. Until we start making light sabres and The Force Canon, the EW seems to be silly.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old November 21st, 2016, 05:39 PM
lostscout5's Avatar
lostscout5 lostscout5 is offline
Knight
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Patchogue
Posts: 135
Gallery : 0
lostscout5 Citizen
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leitz View Post
The joy of a non-OTU setting is doing what you want. Mine are in 1428 and the game we're playing is 1416. Zip on the Empress Wave. Did a little reading on it and dropped it. Ugh. Until we start making light sabres and The Force Canon, the EW seems to be silly.
. I think light sabers are still out. But Psi{force} lightning, maybe.
__________________
Lost on the edge of the Imperium since 1981.
https://jrcliffordblog.wordpress.com
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old November 21st, 2016, 07:39 PM
Leitz's Avatar
Leitz Leitz is offline
Baron
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Wretched hive of scum and villany
Posts: 2,431
Gallery : 0
Leitz Citizen+Leitz Citizen+
Default

No light sabres, no silly cross galaxy wave. I don't think anyone really thought of the energy requirement if you actually think of how big space is.

My personal advice would be to make all three main characters have more depth. Know their why, what is changing in their life? What drives them? The deeper you can make the reader identify with the characters the more of a story you have.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
sea stories flykiller The Lone Star 8 November 7th, 2016 11:26 PM
Back stories DeltaX15 Adventurers 17 January 6th, 2013 07:08 PM
Where did the TNE short stories go ? jfwking Citizens' Information Centre 1 August 23rd, 2004 11:16 AM
Favorite T2K Stories Ganidirsii O'Flynn TWILIGHT: 2000 9 June 27th, 2003 06:41 PM
Interstellar Patrol stories Uncle Bob The Lone Star 0 June 20th, 2003 11:01 PM

This website and its contents are copyright ©2010-2013 Far Future Enterprises. All rights reserved. Traveller is a registered trademark of Far Future Enterprises .
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright (c) 2010-2013, Far Future Enterprises. All Rights Reserved.