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  #81  
Old February 22nd, 2019, 04:02 PM
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just wondering if anyone else had any comments.
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Old February 23rd, 2019, 04:09 AM
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Read it a while back and thought it was good -- wasn't reading to do a critical analysis, so that's all the feedback I've got for you at the moment. Might give it a more thorough look one of these days.

Thanks for putting it out there!
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  #83  
Old February 26th, 2019, 08:59 AM
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I started reading the story as you were posting it, and enjoyed it for the most part. I was puzzled as to why Adam left the ship at the end, but now that I have re-read the opening posts, I see why. (My confusion was probably due to reading the story over the course of a week, so I forgot some of the earlier details.)
I do admit I was a bit miffed that the mystery of the intelligent animals was not solved by the end of the story. To me, science-fiction stories dealing with exploration typically have a mystery about them - what is going on, and why? You gave us the 'what', but not the 'why'. I feel the story is unfinished because of this - I want to know 'why' the animals were acting strange!
That aside, I did enjoy the details you put into the story - details that would not have worked in a published magazine story, but which were fun for a Traveller story for Traveller fans. I thought the characterizations were good for the most part (though I did have issue with the Chief getting drunk too early in the story; just didn't work for me).

Just my two cents. But mostly, Keep writing!
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  #84  
Old March 2nd, 2019, 02:18 PM
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Quote:
To me, science-fiction stories dealing with exploration typically have a mystery about them - what is going on, and why? You gave us the 'what', but not the 'why'.
I tried to tell the story from the characters' perspectives - what they would see and experience. "why"s are seldom obvious at first, and I thought the unresolved mysteries would be natural to the storyline. also in my mind "why"s mostly should be hinted at or left to the reader.

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Keep writing!
well, I have several ideas, but only one of them presents as an actual story. the one with a story is about a merc unit and I'm not sure I have the expertise to write it without being dismissed by the actual and wannabe military experts on the board. as for the story-less ideas I've been waiting for a story for any one of them to percolate up, but it just isn't happening, and I don't want to write just to write.
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Old March 2nd, 2019, 11:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flykiller View Post
just wondering if anyone else had any comments.

Just started reading the first few entries on the first page about 15 min ago. Excellent so far. Really looking forward to reading the rest.
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