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  #1  
Old February 3rd, 2011, 10:57 PM
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Default Feedback requested for a game idea

I have been tossing a game idea around for a week. This com message is the lead off and sets the tone for the adventure for 4-5 navy/marine characters in a gazelle.

What do you think of the idea and execution?


FLASH FLASH FLASH FLASH

MESSAGE: SPNHNAV 1106-119-364
PRIORITY: DOMAIN SPN A-1-C

ACTION ORDERS

SECURITY CLASSIFICATION: SECRET/NOFORN

TO: ALLNAVSPN
ALLMARSPN
ALLSCTSPN (See appendix A)
All Spinward Marches Ling Standard and Subsidiary
Managers Grade J-4 and above (See appendix B)
All SPN Starport Authority Directors (See appendix C)

SITUATION
On 1106-112, the Fiery class Imperial Naval Vessel DISTANT EMBER was completing its class two overhaul at the Ling Standard Yard at EFATE, Efate/Regina 0105. The ship’s crew was in leave status, while the ship remained in commissioned status in the bonded care of Ling Standard Efate Yards, LIC.

Persons employed as contract security by Ling Standard Efate Yards, LIC, made unauthorized entry into the vessel, after apparently gaining unauthorized access to Ling computer systems and concealing the fact that the rebuild was accomplished seven days prior to schedule. The same intrusion to information systems was apparently used to fully equip the vessel with deployment equipment, including a full load out of nuclear missiles. (See Attachment A, security recordings of suspects)

The intruders launched from the yard, falsely claiming to Starport control that they were engaged in an authorized hover test. The vessel proceeded to the jump limit ahead of the duty security SBDs, and transited into jump.

Based on jump entry point, DISTANT EMBER may have transited to Louzy/Jewell 0804. Commander, Efate Naval Forces, dispatched a task force of one Wind Class Carrier and three destroyer escorts to Louzy on 1106-112.

MISSION
Take all practical steps to discover and destroy or capture DISTANT EMBER. (See Attachment B, most recent sensor profile of DISTANT EMBER).

EXECUTION
Imperial Naval Task Forces 193-02; 193-04; and 202-02 are directed to aggressively patrol solely for DISTANT EMBER on jump routes within fifteen parsecs of Louzy/Jewell 0804, with interstellar deployment patterns at their commanders’ judgment. As a general guideline, 193-02 is directed to concentrate spinward of Louzy; 193-04 is directed to concentrate rimward of Louzy; and 202-02 is directed to concentrate coreward of Louzy.

All Naval and Marine assets within thirty five parsecs of Louzy/Jewell 0804 are ordered to take all practical steps to aggressively patrol locally for DISTANT EMBER.

Take all steps to capture or destroy DISTANT EMBER short of the expected loss of a major Naval combatant vessel or Battalion or larger Marine force, or expected war with the Zhodani.

COMMAND AND SIGNAL
Commander, Spinward Marches Naval Forces, is the commander and proponent for this mission. All Messages and Data are to be directed to SPNHNAV Regina/Regina 0310, Ref SPNHNAV 1106-119-364.

ADMINSTRATION AND LOGISTICS
All needed assets are to be drawn from standard fleet supplies. Excess supplies expended and all mission related damage repair are to be charged to EMERGENCY FUND D-411-5, Ref SPNHNAV 1106-119-364.

Appendix A
All Spinward Scout Forces are to watch for DISTANT EMBER and inform the nearest NAV/MAR activity if spotted. By order of Director Baron Sir Evdinci Vesseli.

Appendix B
All Ling Standard Activities are to watch for signs of DISTANT EMBER. Each world within fifty parsecs of Louzy/Jewell 0804 shall appoint a special manager to hire investigative personal to enquire as to the location of DISTANT EMBER, and shall discreetly post a reward large enough to ensure any available local information. Share all information with the nearest Navy or Marine Activity. Submit weekly progress reports to the Sector Board and Domain Board. Use corporate cost code Spn-Dom-4545. Directive of Lord Sir David Felititii, issued by Sir Ghento Killiti, Regina System Acting Director.

Appendix C
By Order of the Imperial Navy, under General Order H-4553-C2, take all steps necessary to monitor traffic for, and inform the nearest Naval or Marine Activity of the location of, DISTANT EMBER. Capture or destroy the vessel if practical and there is minimal danger to port facilities.

Personal Message to all addressee Commanders from Commander, Spinward Marches Naval Forces: This is a great stain upon our honor. Redeem our reputation.


FOR THE COMMANDER,
Baron Rear Admiral Sir Davis Wallsizd,
Chief of the Naval Staff
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Old February 3rd, 2011, 11:16 PM
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Looks good to me, seems a nice start for an adventure.
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Old February 4th, 2011, 07:56 AM
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Would the fact that a ship was taken be so openly broadcast?

Perhaps leave out the details of how the ship was taken. It will help hold off incredulity over the numerous counts of ineptitude that would be necessary for this to occur.
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Old February 4th, 2011, 10:26 AM
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I made it secret/nofron, and only senior managers at Ling. You think that is too much?
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Old February 4th, 2011, 11:54 AM
BruceEdwinMorrow BruceEdwinMorrow is offline
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SECRET/NOFORN... lol
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Old February 6th, 2011, 11:37 PM
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So why didn't the planetary deep meson guns take it out? If the big guns wouldn't shoot for some reason, why wouldn't someone engage with missile batteries? It's a fast ship, but not *that* fast -- you're talking quite a while to get to the jump limit. I could maybe see a dangerous jump from within the jump limit, or even within atmosphere if you're TRULY desperate, but... wow.

Who failed to notice that the ship was nearing flight capability ahead of schedule, and that it was advance-loading stores? If they scooted without stores, they'll be getting hungry by and by...

When did the ship load enough fuel for a jump? How did they manage to get a full loadout of nukes without drawing someone's attention? I find it highly doubtful that anyone would authorize issuing that sort of ordnance based on the equivalent of an email, and when they delivered the missiles, didn't the delivery guys notice anything odd (not nearly enough crew, for instance)?

The whole thing just strikes me as highly implausible. "Hacked system" seems like a major stretch to me.
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Old February 7th, 2011, 11:25 AM
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You could be right. And the navy/marine PCs on a DE who run across the vessel...

Sounds like there are a lot of issues that would have the PCs wondering. That is sort of what I want, options that I can plan for without using railroad tracks.

As a hook and intro, good or bad?
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Old February 7th, 2011, 12:00 PM
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its a hook that heavily implies a large scale conspicery. a LOT of people would need to be "in" on this for it to work. the planetry defenses would need to be blinded somehow (failure of the fire control net?), someone working in the armoury would need to falsify the extensive paperwork for the nukes (maybe have them stolen sperately, but assumed to be on the ship?). the fuel guys could just be locals brided for the fuel, and so on.


it would make more sense if the ship was stolen, jumped out, and was sighted in a nearby system, where it pretended to be legit, aquired the nukes their (carrying seemingly legit orders for them), and then leaving a few hours before persuit got thier.
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Old February 7th, 2011, 03:22 PM
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If done quick enough, I could see it happening, loading out a ship would be automatic, the loaders/bots even if noticing something strange wouldn't necessarily raise an alarm; they aren't paid to ask questions. Big Meson Guns would need a lot of clearance before firing on a ship in orbit, red alert on defenses might cause to much of a panic for one small ship, etc. .
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Old February 8th, 2011, 02:28 PM
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Or it could be what it looks like, or another megacorp set up Ling to lose contracts, or the 3I is staging an intel operation, or the zho mind rapers and their Ine allies are up to something, or some local Ling manager took out his own retirement bonus...
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