Traveller Store CotI Features New Posts Mark Forums Read Register

Go Back > Citizens of the Imperium > General Traveller Discussions > The Lone Star

The Lone Star Meet, greet and socialize with your fellow Travellers in the Lone Star Lounge. Random Topics.

Thread Tools Display Modes
Old August 23rd, 2017, 07:06 PM
Keklas Rekobah Keklas Rekobah is offline
Citizen: SOC-14
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: West Anaheim
Posts: 1,214
Gallery : 0
Keklas Rekobah Citizen+Keklas Rekobah Citizen+
Default Alien World Problems.

Alien-World Problems, also known as "E.T. Whines", are frustrations and complaints that are only experienced by members of technologically advanced extra-terrestrial civilizations. Here are 20 examples.

Earth people refuse to to even try to comprehend your native language, no matter how loudly or slowly you speak it.

It frustrates you to no end that Earth's Internet is slower and provides less information than your cortical implant would if it was connected to the global network on your homeworld.

It is impossible to obtain any food or drink on Earth that you've grown accustomed to consuming on your homeworld.

The only Earth species that resembles your own is kept as pets and trained to beg, fetch, play dead, and growl at strangers.

Those pesky Earth people won't accept your native currency.

Those pesky Earth people won't allow you to carry your disintegrator in public.

Those pesky Earth people won't stop trying to steal your superior technology.

You ask to meet with the "Being In Charge", only to be introduce to another pesky Earth person.

You build a state-of-the-art death star, only to watch some farmboy blow it up by firing a torpedo down its only exhaust port.

You don't understand why something so small and shallow as the Grand Canyon seems so impressive to Earth people.

You miss the comfort of regenerative treatments on your homeworld, while being appalled at the thought of having to undergo invasive surgery on Earth.

You quietly emigrate to Earth to escape family obligations, only to be outed by an emissary from your government, who insists that you must return home and ascend the throne due to your late father's passing.

You think that Earth people should not have let their archeological sites fall into ruins.

You think that Earth's public nature preserves should be more developed and domed over; with slidewalks, controlled weather, and more animatronic creatures than live ones.

You think that nothing can spoil a vacation on Earth more than having to interact with those pesky Earth people.

You travel hundreds of light-years to steal Earth's resources, only to have your entire invasion fleet disabled by an Earth-made computer virus.

You travel billions of miles from Mars to conquer Earth for its resources, only to have your entire invasion fleet disabled by the common cold virus.

Your butler-droid's batteries go dead, and you can't find a compatible power source anywhere on Earth.

Your civilization has allegedly developed a doomsday weapon that keeps all other civilizations at bay, only to have those pesky Earth people announce to everyone that your 'weapon' is merely an elaborately-constructed lie.

Your parents ship you off to Earth just before your homeworld explodes, and you now feel obligated to spend the rest of your days defending Earth and its people from every conceivable threat.

Can you come up with more?
"Keklas! What is your payoff in playing the role of Referee?"
"To challenge my friends, to see them playing before me, and to hear the lamentations of their characters."
Reply With Quote

To see more of this thread, please login or register.


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
T20 Only: T20 THB World Development Step 4 Climate & T20 World Map snrdg082102 T20 - Traveller for the D20 System 7 May 3rd, 2016 07:47 PM
StarBase minor update - world and world name generation simonh Software Solutions 12 May 23rd, 2013 03:14 PM
Good Alien/Bad Alien tjoneslo Contact! 4 December 31st, 2001 04:10 PM

This website and its contents are copyright ©2010-2013 Far Future Enterprises. All rights reserved. Traveller is a registered trademark of Far Future Enterprises .
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright (c) 2010-2013, Far Future Enterprises. All Rights Reserved.