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Old April 23rd, 2003, 07:43 PM
Keklas Rekobah Keklas Rekobah is offline
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[WARNING: This is a long one!]

** 180 Reasons Why Playing Traveller Is Better Than Being In A Relationship. **

1) A "Fat Trader" can still deliver great action.
2) A bad night of playing Traveller is at least as fun as one good night in a relationship.
3) A Traveller game can last all night long.
4) A Traveller game is better when it isn't monogamous.
5) Admitting that your background story was made up will never offend other Traveller players.
6) Buying new things for Traveller results in weekly (sometimes nightly) pleasure for the buyer.
7) Classic Traveller initially costs less than one Tuesday night out on a date.
8) If Traveller gives you problems, you can put it on a shelf for a couple of weeks.
9) If you abandon Traveller, it will never try to take away your house and half your salary for the rest of your life.
10) If you admire your friends' Traveller books and tell them so, they will be impressed and let you borrow them for a week.
11) If you change Traveller versions, you don't have to pay alimony to the old Traveller version.
12) If you leave one Traveller game for another, the first one won't try to ruin your credit.
13) If you use Traveller to entertain your friends, Traveller will not walk out on you because it was feeling used.
14) In Traveller, nobody can hear you snore.
15) In Traveller, you can be proud of being in a career known only as "Other".
16) It takes the same amount of money to play Traveller for the first night as it does to play Traveller for a lifetime.
17) It won't matter whether Traveller sleeps in the living room recliner all night or not.
18) Most Traveller versions actually improve when combined with other Traveller versions.
19) No matter what the package, Traveller still looks good.
20) Really old Traveller materials increase in value.
21) Selling videos of your Traveller sessions to little kids will never get you arrested.
22) The ability to create and enjoy a fantasy life is always essential for playing Traveller.
23) The more you learn about playing Traveller, the better it gets.
24) The only thing dropping out of Traveller after months of use are old character sheets.
25) The rules for playing Traveller are always easy to learn and remember, while those for a relationship are not.
26) The rules for playing Traveller are written in indelible ink.
27) The sole reasons for Traveller's existence is to make you happy, and to make money for the publishers.
28) The Traveller AI Virus won't hit for another few thousand years.
29) The word "commitment" means nothing to Traveller.
30) Traveller's parents will never visit you for the weekend and stay for a month.
31) Traveller actually lets you act out your heroic fantasies.
32) Traveller always looks as good the morning after as it did the night you took it home.
33) Traveller always looks good with the lights on.
34) Traveller books don't complain about being stared at.
35) Traveller books don't mind riding in the trunk.
36) Traveller can't collect alimony if you decide to dump it.
37) Traveller can't give you herpes.
38) Traveller doesn't have a mother, so there is no mother-in-law to hate you or for you to hate.
39) Traveller doesn't need to be wined, dined, and caressed before being used.
40) Traveller hangovers eventually go away.
41) Traveller is always more interesting than a relationship.
42) Traveller is always more satisfying than a relationship.
43) Traveller is more fun if there are three or more people involved.
44) Traveller is never a responsible party to an unwanted pregnancy.
45) Traveller is never concerned about employment, or how much you make.
46) Traveller is never concerns it's self with whether or not you know how to hold a baby.
47) Traveller is never late.
48) Traveller likes your friends as much as you do.
49) Traveller looks better the more you add to it.
50) Traveller materials can be used to confuse religious recruiters that come to your door.
51) Traveller may be a little hard to understand at first, but any problems are easily fixed with "White-Out", an eraser, or a pen.
52) Traveller never bounces a check with the phone company.
53) Traveller never complains about being stuffed into the back of the closet when your Bible study group comes over.
54) Traveller never complains about riding in the trunk.
55) Traveller never complains about where you take it when you go on vacation.
56) Traveller never demands total commitment after the third game session.
57) Traveller never expects flowers on Valentine's Day.
58) Traveller never expects you to telephone.
59) Traveller never forces you to endure long, monotonous recitals of everything that's wrong with you.
60) Traveller never has a headache, though it may cause a few.
61) Traveller never hits you with a paternity suit while your wife is there.
62) Traveller never leaves the seat up.
63) Traveller never takes up too much time in the bathroom.
64) Traveller never yells at you to "Just go ahead and keep your *&^%$#@ friends!"
65) Traveller still looks good in the morning.
66) Traveller still loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor.
67) Traveller will always wait patiently for your attention.
68) Traveller will wait in the car while you go and play football.
69) Traveller won't ask you for money.
70) Traveller won't buy you a vacuum cleaner for Valentine's Day, and say, "Well, it's red, isn't it?"
71) Traveller won't call you at work to ask you to bring home a gallon of milk.
72) Traveller won't care about how much you've had to drink.
73) Traveller won't care about how much you earn.
74) Traveller won't care about the previous games you've played in your life.
75) Traveller won't care about what time you come home.
76) Traveller won't care about what you plan to do with it.
77) Traveller won't care about whom you've slept with.
78) Traveller won't care if you're out with your buddies all night long.
79) Traveller won't care if you watch football all day.
80) Traveller won't change its mind (It's publishers do, however...).
81) Traveller won't come completely unglued if you say you've just spent the night playing another game.
82) Traveller won't come into your life with leftover emotional baggage.
83) Traveller won't complain about you spending all weekend with your friends.
84) Traveller won't complain if you sit and play with the computer all night.
85) Traveller won't complain when you run off to play another game right after finishing one with Traveller.
86) Traveller won't cry "just because".
87) Traveller won't cry if it doesn't hear "I love you" every five minutes.
88) Traveller won't demand equality.
89) Traveller won't demand frilly things.
90) Traveller won't drool while asleep.
91) Traveller won't get angry if you do not take it out to eat once in awhile.
92) Traveller won't get drunk and wreck the car.
93) Traveller won't get freaked if you want to bring exotic electrical devices into the game.
94) Traveller won't get jealous around other games, even if they are more popular or better looking on the outside.
95) Traveller won't get mad at you if you forget the anniversary of the first day you brought it home.
96) Traveller won't get mad at you if you play another game.
97) Traveller won't get upset when you decide that it's taking up too much closet space.
98) Traveller won't grow hair in weird places.
99) Traveller won't hate your mother.
100) Traveller won't try to pick up your more attractive siblings.
101) Traveller won't leave you for another person.
102) Traveller won't make you do the dishes.
103) Traveller won't make your life hell for even looking at another role-playing game.
104) Traveller won't mind if you go to sleep right after you're done playing with it.
105) Traveller won't mind if you leave the seat up.
106) Traveller won't mind if you videotape it while other people are playing with it.
107) Traveller won't mind if you watch while other people are playing with it.
108) Traveller won't overdraw your checking account or max out your credit card.
109) Traveller won't say a word if you come home late.
110) Traveller won't shop for useless clothes or tools.
111) Traveller won't smoke your last cigarette and pretend the dog ate it.
112) Traveller won't spend all night on the phone talking to another role-playing game and then complain that you aren't paying it enough attention.
113) Traveller won't steal all the blankets on a cold night.
114) Traveller won't take up all of the closet space unless you want it to.
115) Traveller won't talk back.
116) Traveller won't tell you its pregnant for fun.
117) Traveller won't tell you that it's too tired to play.
118) Traveller won't try to make you feel guilty for something you never did.
119) Traveller won't wake you up at three AM to tell you the cat is sick.
120) Traveller won't wake you up early on the weekend to go shopping.
121) Traveller won't wake you up late at night when you're sick and pester you for "a little action."
122) Traveller works better with dice than with a new vacuum cleaner.
123) Whatever you don't like about Traveller can either be changed or ignored.
124) When Traveller gets old and worn out you can trade it in for a newer model.
125) When you're done playing with Traveller, you can always put it back in the closet and not look at it.
126) When you're done using your Traveller materials, you can go to sleep right away.
127) When you get sick of Traveller's looks you can ignore it.
128) When you tire of Traveller you can get rid of it without going to court.
129) When your Traveller book looks old and used, you can easily toss it out and get a newer one.
130) With Traveller there is no need to fake enjoyment.
131) With Traveller you at least have a say in who rolls the dice.
132) You actually want your friends to have as much fun with your Traveller game as you do.
133) You can't get arrested for expressing your aggressiveness in Traveller.
134) You can auction off your old Traveller materials.
135) You can be involved with several Traveller games at once and not get into trouble with any one of them.
136) You can buy a more recent Traveller version and your friends won't accuse you of "robbing the cradle".
137) You can buy aftermarket accessories to make Traveller look better.
138) You can change the appearance and attributes of your Traveller character with an eraser and a pencil.
139) You can enjoy someone else's Traveller game, even if you don't have one of your own.
140) You can eventually learn all there is to know about playing Traveller.
141) You can get a few bucks for an old Traveller version when a better-looking one comes out.
142) You can have a Traveller game at home, another one for the road, and yet another at the office.
143) You can have as many Traveller books as you can afford and they won't be jealous of each other.
144) You can have fun with Traveller after twenty-five years of playing.
145) You can leave Traveller alone for a whole month and it won't complain.
146) You can leave Traveller in the garage all night and it won't complain.
147) You can legally rent Traveller for one night.
148) You can make up your own rules for playing Traveller.
149) You can move your Traveller materials anywhere you want, without having to ask them if they care.
150) You can pay attention to or ignore Traveller as you please.
151) You can pick up another Traveller book in a game store, while still standing next to your old ones.
152) You can play Traveller any time of the day.
153) You can play Traveller in public.
154) You can play Traveller more than once in a night and not feel guilty.
155) You can put all your old Traveller books together in one room and they won't fight.
156) You can share Traveller with your friends.
157) You can stop playing Traveller just because something else interests you more.
158) You can swap Traveller material with others and nobody will mind.
159) You can take Traveller along on a camping trip and not have to listen to it complain and whine.
160) You can trade in your old Traveller game for a new one with extra accessories.
161) You can use Traveller to hurt your friends, but you can always be sure that Traveller will not find out and leave you because it felt used.
162) You can videotape you and your friends having fun with Traveller, and it won't mind.
163) You don't need a license to live with a Traveller book.
164) You don't need to buy Traveller a gift for holidays.
165) You don't need to explain the way you are dressed to other Traveller players.
166) You don't need to hug your Traveller materials after you have used them.
167) You don't need to marry Traveller before you can enjoy it.
168) You don't need to meet Traveller's parents, or bring Traveller home to meet your parents.
169) You don't need to promise to respect Traveller in the morning.
170) You don't need to remember Traveller's birthday.
171) You don't need to remember Traveller's name, just the way it looks.
172) You don't need to spend money on Traveller every time you go out.
173) You don't need to wine and dine Traveller just to have fun with it later.
174) You get to choose exactly how difficult Traveller will be.
175) You only need to pay once to take Traveller home and use it.
176) You play with Traveller when YOU want to play with Traveller.
177) You won't burn your hand because your Traveller left the curling iron on.
178) You won't slice your thumb open because Traveller left a steak knife in the sink.
179) Your favorite Traveller game wouldn't ever take the last diet Mountain Dew and not tell you.
180) Your Traveller books will stay with you even if you are ugly and out of money.
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"To challenge my friends, to see them playing before me, and to hear the lamentations of their characters."
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  #2  
Old April 24th, 2003, 07:59 AM
Shadowdancer Shadowdancer is offline
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[Barry White mode ON

"Hey baby. Let me show you how big my Traveller campaign is. And you know we play allllll night long."

[Barry White mode OFF]
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Old April 24th, 2003, 11:11 AM
Listlurker Listlurker is offline
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Oh boy -- that list amounts to 180 reasons why Captain K.R. needs to find himself a *good* relationship quickly. I've had *bad* relationships which were better than what that list implies, and I'm not especially rich, handsome, muscular, or ummmm ... "developed".

(Yes, I know the list was a joke, but a fairly bitter and cynical joke, I fear)

To put it another way: not all women are high-strung, high-maintenance, self-centred, bitchy "sitcom wives". If that's all you're finding, then look harder, and don't "just settle" ... and while you're at it, make sure you're contributing something also. I've known too many guys who want a woman who's better than they themselves are willing to be.

Listlurker, opinionated on this issue for YOUR own good, dammit [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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Old April 24th, 2003, 12:15 PM
Keklas Rekobah Keklas Rekobah is offline
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Actually, only ten are mine - the first one, especially! The rest were gleaned from other players (about two dozen) at various game stores and conventions over the last three years.

There were many more that were either too sad, too angry, or too risque' to post. This leads me to believe that people who play RPG's and have happy relationships are a rarity.

The Heisenberg uncertainty principle applies to humor - You can either enjoy it or analyze it, never both.
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"To challenge my friends, to see them playing before me, and to hear the lamentations of their characters."
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Old April 24th, 2003, 01:03 PM
Listlurker Listlurker is offline
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Yes, Keklas, analyzing humour is rather like describing dancing to someone -- it tends to miss the point entirely.

I realized I was going down a path you never intended, but I had to say something -- not to you, specifically, but just to this general topic.
I've seen variations on this topic come up enough times now, that it's become something of a "hot button" issue with me. Not least because enough repetition of an idea can convince some folks it has more truth to it than it actually does.

Again, not going after you here. I have other gamer-types in mind when I say this.

As for gamers' lack of happy love lives, I can see two distinct possibilities:

First (especially for younger gamers), the gamers have spent more of their social energies on gaming than on developing other parts of their social lives. This is completely understandable; as humans, we tend to gravitate to what makes us feel good or happy with the least amount of labour involved. Gaming with your buddies is fun and easy -- falling in love is scary, even when that love is reciprocated. Love may bring greater rewards, but it always carries greater risks. Such is the way with very valuable things. I totally understand the impulse to stick with the familiar, comfortable joys one knows -- I was this way myself for many years (love came very late to me). I just worry when cynicism and a kind of bitter misogyny creeps into the mix with certain gamers (again, not you). If certain gamers choose the single path, then cynically complain, the bitterness suggests to me that they need to make new choices and take some social risks for themselves, not just heap scorn on women.

The second reason I can see for gamers unhappy in love? A conflict of interests. Be it TV basketball games, fishing, computer games, bingo, poker night, or gaming -- anytime one person in a relationship has a personal hobby that means a lot to them (especially a hobby which the other person doesn't share), conflict can come into the picture. If you're very lucky, and the angels smile on you, the other person will "get" your need for a personal hobby (as my gamer friend's wife says, "I always know where he is, and I'd rather he's gaming than chatting up women in bars"). But even when the other person does understand, there's still gonna be conflict from time to time because person A wants to indulge the hobby, while person B wants some "couple time".

Balancing out who gets what when is one of the true tests of any relationship -- can you sort it out without anyone being made to feel the villain? It's not easy, I know. Both people have to want to work it through.

Sometimes, gamers can be overly defensive about their hobby because of the social stigma it still carries (gee, you think? ) and I've seen some gamers get WAAAY too hostile defending their hobby. On the other hand, I've also seen non-gamer partners get WAAAY too contemptuous about "that stupid game!". In the end, it's all about respect and conflict resolution -- issues in any relationship -- but I do wonder if the bad reputation gaming and gamers still carry in the public perception makes things worse. Gamers get too defensive too quickly, while non-gamers get too scornful and too dismissive ("Everybody knows that stuff's only for losers and nerds").

Anyway, K.R., you raise some interesting points. I hope you don't mind me opining on them. I think I'm done analyzing; I now return you to your regularly scheduled humour thread.

Listlurker
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Old April 24th, 2003, 04:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Listlurker:
I just worry when cynicism and a kind of bitter misogyny creeps into the mix with certain gamers (again, not you). If certain gamers choose the single path, then cynically complain, the bitterness suggests to me that they need to make new choices and take some social risks for themselves, not just heap scorn on women.
What? Me become scornful of women when they choose hunky or well-off men over fat, geeky, lower income me? Why should I be cynical when I her women claim that all they want is guy with humor and sensitivity, then they end up with Mr. Six-Pack-Of-Abs-And-Seven-Figure-Salary? Why should I be afraid of taking social risks? It's not like it's a foregone conclusion that they're going to laugh in my face and/or reject me outright.

Why should I "ever" be misogynistic?
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Old April 24th, 2003, 05:17 PM
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I feel just like Mr. Siefert. Look at another post, the one about that real-life woman gunner, and you'll see more. Especially true in high school, but especially true in college, and especially true Right Now!
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Old April 24th, 2003, 05:17 PM
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And Traveller is better than other RPGs because it was one of the first and simplest!
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Old April 24th, 2003, 05:41 PM
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[img]graemlins/file_22.gif[/img] To Listlurker

Thanks for the Therapy Session

I fill better now.
Are you going to come off your soap box now?

(Just Kidding)
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Old April 24th, 2003, 07:52 PM
Keklas Rekobah Keklas Rekobah is offline
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ListLurker,

You said,
Quote:
Anyway, K.R., you raise some interesting points.
Thanx!

... and you said,

Quote:
I hope you don't mind me opining on them.
Opine away!

Now, is there anybody who has the wherewithal to upload a list of "180 Reasons Why Being Involved In A Relationship Is Better Than Playing Traveller", just to rebut my posting?
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